We Can Set The World On Fire (In 2012)

But for now, let's take a look back at 2011, because I have a lot to be grateful for.

This bunch of friends.



7 years, I believe it has been, since I walked into SRJC and met this bunch of crazy people who taught me more than playing ball. They peeled off the "Loser" tag attached to my long brown skirt, and made me cool.

This year, I'm glad to say that I've rebounded back into the group, after getting lost in 2010. I'm back, yat-ches! Cheers to Moscato and more!

This bunch of friends.



We walked out of university and entered society with high dreams, hopes and ambition. Even though we are slowly weathered and stabbed by the intense winds of the working world, we still persevere.

With each meetup, we exchange stories in the workplace, what made us broke down and what made us stronger.

Ultimately, it's not the degree that makes the difference in your 5" by 9" cubicle. It's your attitude. I'm so proud of you girls (and one guy). We're still surviving!

This basketball team.




I need to admit, that everytime we put our hands together for a whoosh, I expect someone to shout "Nan Da" instead of "Jumpshot", since I've been so used to the alma mater, and also Yan's booming voice.

Somehow, I've managed to find a work-life balance through this little team that was put together by Esther. And we're playing better and better with each game.

Also, the Taiwan trip together was just what we needed for some good ol' bonding and relaxing.

People may get old, but passion never dies.

Kelly.



Kelly is so explosively different from any of my other friends because she was my colleague at WhyOhGee. Nonetheless, she's one of the most sincere and honest friend I've had. Actually she's more like an older sister, since she's a bit older. Okay, not really a bit. Haha. But still, a very precious friend who gave me 3 presents at one go.

Baptism.



In this picture, only 1 person was baptised. Guess who?

It was Wendy, on my left, who got baptised and her MP went for it. No kidding. Well, good news is, in 2012, the other 2 people in the picture are getting baptised too!

January 8th 2012, mark it guys.

Blading and Other Crazy Incidents That Only Happen When This Two Are Around



Amanda and Charlene are the perfect combi for the best times.




I learnt how to blade in 2011. In 2012, I'm going to pick up the guitar. Please pray for my musical talent, or rather, for my lack in it.

Adventures.



Diving, parasailing, flying fish. I went nuts during my holiday, and I went nuts with Leanne! More high-octane adventures okay?

Cell Group



Even though I always distract my cell group members by telling them that someone's using the bathroom every time they hear the pipes, they've not thrown me out of bible study yet.

This year, we all became closer to one another in Church. I'm really happy to say that going to church is a very pleasant thing to do, because you just feel that you're merely going home.

Working Life

When God opens a door, you know it's the right one.

Freedom

I tore away all the letters that no longer mean anything. I threw away everything that was a waste of my time. I no longer hide in the dark, I stand out in the light, with the Lord's courage.

And I'm free now.

My God

The slogan on top of my blog, "Refine Me, Lord, Through The Flame" is truly a slogan for the year. For I have gone through so many experiences, both good and bad, and I emerge more and more refined. I have been through humiliation, pride, jealousy, loss, but my God, my precious, fearful God has always been there for me every single day, refining and molding me.

2012 is going to be a tough year, but I'm not afraid.

Best. Christmas. Ever.

Church with the besties.



On a private yatch with the besties.

This is the life.

Thank God for the friends and family who're always there for me.

Thank God for making me humble, down-to-earth, sometimes stupid but that just means there's so much to learn.

Merry Christmas and Happy Boxing Day, people!

The 2012 Motto

向前看，向前走。

不掉头。

坚强地，向前。

前进！

有主引领我，2012 会是更好的！

Go and Dye.

After my lil sister and my lil brother went to dye their hair as a mark of their freedom from their A levels, I got a little jealous and taa daa, guess who's the odd one out in the family now?

The answer is my dad. Everybody else has dyed their hair, including me who sold out my jet black thick bushy hair after 24 years.

In the past I had hoped for my mother to say "Eh! Go and die", and I would have promptly dyed my hair as a pun, but seriously, no mothers will tell their own kids to go and die. She never used that phrase, and so my hair remained black as a kettle.

It was an impulse choice anyway.

I was sitting down in the salon, waiting for my bi-monthly hair cut + treatment, when my hairstylist asked, "You want to dye your hair?"

"Ooooh.... what colour do you have?" I said, thinking that since Christmas is around the corner, why not try something new.

She took out a book, opened it and pointed it to one colour. "This one can be seen even when it's dark, but it's not so shocking, and I think you should be able to accept this."

Wah, she can read my rather conservative mind.

"What's a lighter shade?" I asked, thinking if I should be daring or not.

She flipped over a page and pointed at a colour that could be seen miles away, or that was what I thought it would do. "Ahhh.... I think I'll go with the first one." I said, once my eyes stopped bulging.

Hey presto, after 45 minutes of watching the lady put the dye on my hair, and then feeling that itch/ stinging sensation in the scalp, I see colour! In my hair!

It's really odd, actually. To see colour on your hair. Sorry, I'm a bit sua ku, but it was the first time I dyed my hair.

When I went home, my mother asked, "What colour is it?"

"Eh, I don't know." I answered. Some sort of brown, maybe.

When my dad saw me, he asked, "Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"

Well, I think a bit of change is refreshing, especially when you're 24 now and you're still hung up over the fact that only ntuc income and a travel insurance agent who is not your friend at all were the only ones to sms you Happy Birthday perhaps due to the fact that I set my birthday to be hidden on Facebook.

NTUC Income leh! Wah lau eh!

Aiyo, I'm so petty!

Ah, the older you get, the less presents you get too. But of course, I'm grateful for those who remembered without having to rely on FB, hello Yanyan who wished me way in advance and for those who gave me lil' presents here and there.

Thank you. Now let me remind myself that I had a great birthday in Taiwan to get over the fact that only NTUC Income and the travel insurance agent whom I bought the insurance for SHANGHAI wished me happy birthday.

Oh gosh, I can't stand myself.

But nevermind, I've dyed my hair already. Maybe I can stand the new me. Whoohoo!

Drive Of My Life

Without a car, everywhere is bloody far.

Even worse now as they "su ka su ka" announce rising cab fares and increase in the number of peak hours. Everyone of my age is complaining, because everyone of my age take cabs like drinking water.

We work till after office hours and what happens when we have to rush from work to another commitment? Stick out that hand and flag lor, what to do? I take cabs 2 to 3 times a week after work, for basketball, for cell group, or for that faraway gathering somewhere not in town. Then, when we're all done unwinding for the day, gasp, it's 12am. What to do now? Stick out that hand and tell the uncle "Bishan st 13, thanks."

I know it's a really bad habit and it eats away what's left of the measly way-low sum they call my salary. Many a time Pearle and I seek to check into cab rehabilitation, and what turns out usually because a classic case of "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."

Sigh!

I think I was too pampared when I was in Uni, happily flashing about with the Toyota Rush as if there were no such thing as an oil crisis. These days, the only thing I flash about is my smile, accompanied by the question, "Did you drive today?"

See, I stooped so low that I described my own smile+question combo as a 下贱 attempt once to my teammates. Okay, the word 下贱 sounds quite harsh in hindsight, but I was like a hyena pouncing on every single potential car key-holding person.

I have a church friend, Cooper, who used to call me pretty every time I drove. I did the same, whenever he drove. Nowadays, most of the time, we're left disappointed by each other. "Aiyah? Why you not handsome today ah?"

Oh, SFB8119H, Anti You never seemed so far in my life before (except when I was in Year 1 and haven't gotten my license yet).

Now, Pearle, Sam, Xiu Hui, let's work out a way to get to the friendly game in Anti You without having to take a cab but yet not having to wake up that early....

Let's call the plan Mission Impossible: Ghost Cab Protocol.

Buddies.

Me, Amanda and Charlene.

These two girls are one of the most precious sets of friends I can ever ask for.

When I went through the worst I've ever felt, they were there for me. When I needed to share my secrets, burdens lift up the moment I told them the story of my life. When I find myself in bouts of vulnerability, they knocked sense into me.

So when I say that I've truly matured this year, they can attest to that.

At the very least, I will think of consequences, since I am living with a slightly-more-bitter-than-sweet one now.

I love them so much. Also, they've taught me not to be so stingy.

Thank you God, for them.

:)

Three Things We're Grateful For

During cell group today, Gillian asked all of us to write down 3 things that we're grateful for.

I didn't think it would be common, but quite a few of us wrote that we're so glad that all of us are much closer than before, and we're more like friends now. I had the same sentiments as well.

It seemed like yesterday that it was my first few times in cell group, awkward, quiet and hiding behind Joyce and Felily.

Somehow, over the course of this year, I've began to find my voice within this cell group, become more open and join in the fun.

This is truly one thing to be grateful for.

Next thing to be grateful for, my job.

In a place where most don't last 2 or 3 weeks, I've managed to survive for 11 months and counting.

And a fact that overwhelms me is that I set out to be an editor in mind, and now I've a few episodes out on tv, all in only 1 year.

Truly, all we have to do is to boldly ask and He will provide.

The third thing is my family.

We have reconciled. After 10 years. Because of a piece of A Level notes that fell into the toilet bowl. It's amazing, and it is one burden off my heart.

It's really important to count our blessings, and see the power of God working in us. Many times, I thought I've failed, and I thought I wouldn't make it through the tough days in the office, but I did, and I gained so much favour from the bosses.

He's always here with me.

那些年，我们一起去台湾打球的女孩

As I was on the court panting, with my throat burning from the thin air, it felt incredible.

There I was, in Taipei, playing against 中华电信, who are the 3rd placed professional basketball team.

It was nothing short of a privilage, a blessing.

And also a fantastic birthday present.

Never mind we got thrashed, never mind their average height was the height of our 2 tallest players, never mind that out of so many layups I only got 1 in, never mind that we only had 7 players for the game. It was still so worth it, so memorably and precious in my heart.

Most precious birthday present ever!

Happy Overseas Birthday!

This was taken in Taiwan in 2008, where I went there twice that year.

Tomorrow, I'm going back there to revisit all the food and shopping with my Jumpshot teammates. In addition, we'll be playing a friendly game there which is major awesomeness.

But then, my luggage is facing an impending explosion. I can't close it! No idea what I've been packing, seriously.

As with Australia last year, I'll be spending my birthday overseas for the 2nd time in a row. I wonder where I'll go next year... further, I hope.

Today, the office celebrated my birthday in advance, to my pleasant surprise, and I got 2 presents too!

And how time flies, I'm going to be 24 in 2 days!

See you guys when I'm 24 on Monday morning!

The Jamesthers on 26th Nov 2011

James and Esther are officially married!

It was a happy occasion for the couple, who started dating the same time I joined the church. From the first time when Sean accidentally let slip that they were seeing each other, to the time where they announce their engagement, then to the meticulous planning of the wedding (3 excel sheets to go through ok!), and finally, by God's grace, they are now linked in holy matrimony.

I wrote this on their wedding guestbook after being inspired by the solemniser after she talked about wedding rings being a complete circle, symbolising there is no end to their love.

"Dear Jamesther,
Since a ring is an endless circle, what does 2 rings represent?

Infinite love! (Draws an infinity sign)

Then what does 5 rings represent?

...

...

Olympics!

Loads of Love,
Deanna"

You Are The Apple Of My Eye

当我发现到柯騰和沈佳宜到最后没有在一起时，和戏院里许多的人一样，流泪了。

被这个不是爱情故事的爱情故事感动了。

到最后，连手都没牵的他们终究还是朋友。

大家的背后都有不同的故事。

每一个故事，好与坏，都留下哝哝的回忆和想念。

可能，到最后，希望我的故事也会得到，或留下，一份友情吧。

Wedding March

I just came back from a wedding rehearsal in the chapel.

My first wedding rehearsal, but obviously I'm not the bride. The honour of that goes to Mrs Esther Ang-to-be, my cellgroup mate whose dating progress with Mr James Ang was witnessed by all of us over the past 2 years.

From enduring endless teasing, to admitting their relationship, to making this big step in cementing their commitment to each other, by God's grace, this is it.

As I watched Esther walk down the aisle as she tries to perfect the timing to the wedding music playing from the speakers, there was a warm and fuzzy vibe all around. I also caught Michelle staring dreamily at the bride-to-be, probably wondering in her mind what will she do when it's her turn.

In just over an hour, the rehearsal was over and done with. And all that's left to do is to wait for Saturday, when the real thing happens. I'm really excited about this- which is quite surprising considering I was relaxed much when it came to my own sister's wedding. Weddings also have that magnetic effect to make us all believe that love between a couple can be chaste, pure, beautiful.

I'm sure Saturday will be magnificent.

Against The Titans

I found myself breathless about 3 minutes into the game against one of the three biggest clubs in Singapore.

I was huffing, puffing, and I could feel the stomach stitching up.

不认老也不行啊。

But just playing against them, looking at the way they pass with such precision, the way they play in a whole new level with such fluidity and ease, wow, you really take your hats off them. Of course, these people sacrifice so many other things just for the game, and it's obvious how hard work pays off on court.

Well, for me, I was never the one who'd go all out to train like crazy when I was young. I was the one who took the CCA as it was, a CCA. Just being able to don the jersey and get some playing time, that's good enough for me.

And now, it has come to a point where many times, I've been asking myself, am I still going to continue to play? I'm just one player, in the midst of so many talented girls. And, to be realistic, I'm not that good anyway. Sometimes, I wonder what keeps me going.

In fact, it's not passion that keeps me going.

It's that feeling, that feeling when you run and you just want to stop, but you know you can't, that feeling of your muscles about to burst, but you still have to grit your teeth and continue on.

That "muscle burning, panting like a hounddog when you find yourself at the end point, surprised you're still alive" kind of feeling.

That "hey, I'm not that weak" feeling.

Feels good.

Anything to take the mind off work.

Sad to say, while huffing and puffing during the game, I was slow jogging back every time the opponents got the ball and went on their fast break. I want to say I'm too old already, but oh well, I think my stamina is down the drain. Nevermind, on the positive side, I had 3 assists and scored 2 points (ya, easily satisfied haha), even though I was so confused because Coach put me as a forward.

Now, my aim is to eat a lot and gain weight so that I can hold my own against the taller, meaner, bigger people on court. I want to be FAT!

But still pretty. I want to be pretty fat. Hahaha. That doesn't sound right.

Fat people are usually happy people. So I want to be fat. :) Plus, Christmas is coming around, so putting on some weight shouldn't be hard.

You know where to find me during those Christmas parties/ weddings. Buffet lines, here I come!

I want to be a big fat Dinah Saw!

The Post Producer.

That's me.

That's what I do at work everyday, producing post. No, not the kind with the envelops and stamps, but edits after edits after edits.

At the start, I wasn't really producing post, but I was doing more coordination to make sure the in-house editor, aka "Left Neh Neh" (he called himself that) had his footage on time and that he hands up his edits on time as well.

After a while, I was given more responsibility, like checking tapes after they were dumped out, then sending them off to the only terrestrial broadcast station in Singapore.

Then slowly, I got my break, and now, added on to these responsibilities is the honourable task of cutting an entire episode by myself. Then another, then another.

My best friend at work is the humble Final Cut Pro, where I probably can say I know about 10% of its true prowess.

Well, that just goes to show that I have a long way to go. But hey, I'm not complaining.

I had a chat with my Secondary School form teacher on Facebook last week at 11pm. I remembered the time because I told him I was still in the office. With his 3 kids smiling widely on his profile picture, it reminded me that time stops for no one. He said, "I bet you're in some media company. I always remember that you were hooked after attending some workshop after your O Levels."

How did you know, Mr Thomas? Indeed I'm hooked.

Just having that conversation with him allowed me to think back on my teenage dreams and how far I've come. Dreams are probably one of the hardest things to quash, remember that, and let's just keep on going cos when the going gets tough, the tough get...

GOING all the way!

All I Want For My Birthday Are.... (ankle) SOCKS!

Don't laugh at my weird birthday wishlist.

You know I need 'em after having to resort to wearing 2 socks with different designs just to make up the numbers.

Or that the pairs that matches have holes here, there, or there. Don't ask me why there are holes. I might have worn the socks out with my intensive trainings.

So yes, socks. They're a good gift. Easy on the pockets, come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, small and sweet.

Especially ones with Homer Simpson's face on it. (But I have 2 pairs of that and they've got holes already- mega sigh)

But just so you know, I already got a big fat present. Or rather, the Tan family got the big fat present. Let's just put it that, we're all good now. The brother, the sister, the mother and the father. It's a load of hard angsty bricks that's been building for ten over years and it's finally fallen. Ironically, the trigger-point of this reconciliation was because of some scrappy A Level notes that fell into the toilet bowl.

But more of that, when I'm ready to share that overwhelming night. You're probably confused. It's okay. Not a lot of people about this family issue we've been having for the past decade, but we're just glad to come to a turning point.

The one thing that this taught me is to never take the easy way out. Sure, it'll be the fastest solution out there, but whether it leaves other long term problems in its wake is another thing altogether.

And so, enough of complications. All I want are socks. There's no issues with socks.

Oh, by the way, you can watch this- http://video.xin.msn.com/browse/okto

I'm Script Supervisor in there. :)

Glorious Sunday (Or How I Sucked My Sunday Dry)

This sleeping baby is Keren, and she's only 21 days old! It's always amazing to look at little children and see their innocence and fervor for the new world that surrounds them. Seems like we all should learn from them and throw away all our old inhibitions and be like newborns, exactly like this little shark (her mother calls her that, haha.)


Anyway, visiting her was one of the many things I did today. Love my Sundays, especially those that comes accompanied by a public holiday -wait for it- Monday. How precious are these days!

So here's what I did. I'm writing this down because it's a rare thing for me to pack so many things into one day.

1. Church at 8.30am, with Leanne!

2. A pre-wedding briefing for Jamesther's wedding. Really hope that I'll be able to attend the rehearsal, what with the unpredictability of dates these days with a tournament coming up.

3. Called Joyce to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! The girl was probably pressing the phone hard to her ears in some street in Melbourne, and half the time she was unable to hear much, but it was still good considering everyone in the cell group got to talk to her for a well.

4. Went to see baby Keren! Soon, she'll probably look like the Michelin Man, and start to crawl, walk, talk, and be 18 in a flash. But it's okay, 21-day old sleeping Keren has been immortalised in this photo.

5. Afternoon coffee/taboo session with Jasmine, Gwen and Michelle in a nice cosy coffeehouse in the middle of nowhere. Okay, it was Upper Thomson, but it did felt like nowhere. Was thinking that if I knew of that place earlier, would have brought people over there. Missed Yuen because she had to leave before I came over, but it was a very nice time hanging out with them.

6. Jeremy's house for a farewell for cellgroup mate Jon before he turns into Army Boy/Man. I was the oldest there, can you believe it? Loads of food to fill the tummy, a Taboo gender war and a very fierce dog ironically named "Mei Mei" who is anything but, capped the evening.

7. And finally, at 11pm, watched the neither-here-nor-there flick "In Time" with cell mates. Samuel quipped, "Should be called Waste Time" and I couldn't agree more. But exchanging our exasperation with the unexciting Timberlake vehicle was quite funny.

And that's the end of my day, well, nearly, since it's 2.35am as I'm typing it while listening to Plain White Tee's "1,2,3,4" (a significant song for a special event coming soon. As if it hasn't been significant enough.)

So I've been kept busy. In a relaxing way. Which is probably good considering Christmas is coming again, also not forgetting the birthday. 24. Yikes.

And now, I finally feel the fatigue settling into the bones. Goodnight, sweet dreams, and a very happy public holiday Monday.

Friday Night Lights

What do I do to entertain myself if I'm all alone in the office on Friday night?










I also don't know.

My face quite oily eh?

Someone Like You- Adele

Running takes my mind off certain things.

But at the same time, it forces me to focus on some.

I had a quick chat with God while running just now from my house to Bishan Park and then back. I had a stomachache while at Bishan Park so I stopped and walked for a while. It was peaceful, tranquil, a little dark but it wasn't too scary. It was all very nice and serene, but my heart wasn't. I was in a sort of a mess, the kind of mess that I should have pulled myself up a long time ago but didn't, the kind of mess like a drunken tattoo somewhere hidden gone wrong. Yes, that kind.

The kind that nobody can help you. Only God. My fear though, is that He's been sending people to help me, but I'm too preoccupied to notice.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I still had a good chat with The Man Upstairs. In time, I'll understand why certain things work in certain ways, why people can be so nice at once and nasty the next.

We're no longer kids who tear each other up over who gets the most love from our parents. We're all grown up now.

This post wasn't meant to be ended in this way, but it just goes to show that there are bigger messes to fix than (figurative) drunken tattoos and whatnot. We just gotta move on from what's in front of us to something more. So,

"Nevermind I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
Don't forget me, I pray,
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts
instead."

Sometimes it lasts, sometimes it hurts, and we just gotta get a grip on and move on.

Stop Taking My Permanent Marker!

I think the most important stationary tool for a production person is the humble permanent marker.

So I need it. Give it back.

On a different note, I'm still loving Avril Lavigne.



Happy Deepavali people!

The 10th Month of the Year.

I might be imagining things, but I highly doubt it.

Premiere

This is my show's opening titles when it was Season 1. Now, it's in Season 2, and it's on air. First episode is on today!

Finally, after months of hard work, it's out here for the world. First and foremost I need to thank my friends who helped me as extras/scour for extras. Thanks Yan!

Yesterday was the wrap party, and I only had 2 beers, but that was it. Never have been a good drinker, and I wonder when I ever will be. But it was good to mingle with the cast and crew, and just let loose for once. It was really too stressful for the past few days before the wrap party, but I'm just glad it's all over.

Even told Patricia that I saw her on a rerun of 搞笑行动 the night before, and she said "Ya, can you imagine? That was the time where I just joined them, and it's already 14 years! I bet you were a kid when you first watched it."

It was good. Even got some valuable advice from the freelance editor.

Now, it's Knockout time. 29 episodes down, and 23 more to go!

Click below to see the articles related to my show:

http://www.tnp.sg/content/pat-mok-flaunting-her-big-mouth

http://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/blogs/singapore-showbiz/vernetta-lopez-saving-world-one-time-065135227.html

7am.

You know you've been working too late when you work so late into the night that when you turn around, you see day.

But I'm still sustaining.

And there's a weekend to look forward to. Weekends, now, since I need not be on set anymore.

Of course, as I speak, I'm still here, in the office. Leaving soon, though, thank God.

This is the phase where work takes centre stage. And I must say, it is easy to lose yourself in all of these.

At least after work there's still other things to look forward to. Like spontaneous cell supper even though I had to crawl up at 8 the next day. Like having so much fun with lunch on Sunday. Like seeing the people you've grown to love over the past 2 years. And of course, hearing the good news of Justin & Kim's baby being born.

It's all good. And now... done. Time to go home!

God=Good

It was morning. I was putting the hard disk with all my life's work- ok, I exaggerate, it's only 1 project- into my pretty little backpack when my hand slipped.

Piang.

Shit happened. The hard disk that has my final cut pro file went toot, toot, toot, toot, and stopped turning.

Okay, don't panic. Go to work. Maybe it'll be okay when I get to work.

So I went to work, set up my laptop, plugged in my hard disk. And waited. And waited. Switched the hard disk off, then on, and waited. And waited.

Then almost pulled my hair out. Nothing. The computer couldn't even detect the hard disk, which makes my $150 Data Rescue software useless.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo was the word I was looking for. Could have gone on even longer. I wish. But I'm not one to mope and cry while time was running out. I had to present this edit by this evening! All I needed was my fcp file. I had back ups of everything else. Just that darn fcp file stuck in the doomed hard disk.

So I made a few calls, checked out some Sim Lim Square websites, and whisked over. While in the cab, I asked Felily and Joyce to pray. There was nothing, nothing else to do, but pray. Oh, how I wish I could pry open that stupid $477 LACIE hard disk and magically set all its parts back so that it won't go "toot toot toot too", but no, I can't.

Nothing else to do, but pray. Really, really hard.

I went up to the 5th floor, where there were some repair shops, got this chap who say they'll look at it and call me within an hour or two to see if they can fix it, then I went to get lunch. I switched on my laptop after lunch, intending to continue on some graphics for the same project when...

Usually, there's an "autosave vault" function in Final Cut. I always direct the "autosaved" files, which are files progressively saved as you do your project, into the hard disk I work on. It's a habit, and I always tell my interns to do the same, because it will take up space if you put it on your laptop.

But this time, THIS time, I forgot that I directed all my files to my laptop, when I had to do some minor editing the day before. And then I forgot to switch it back to the hard disk.

So it means that whatever I worked on yesterday, was "autosaved" in a folder in MY DESKTOP.

When I opened the folder in anticipation, and saw the file I needed so badly sitting there, comfortably, in my own desktop, I was just overwhelmed. I double-clicked it, and it opened. Like magic. It was there, everything was there.

Now all I needed to do was to reconnect everything, which wasn't hard because I had everything else backed up.

And there, relief sets in. Relief that God always have my back. Praise the Lord and His awesomeness.

Also thank you Felily and Joyce!!!

Up In The Air

My previous post below is just a small-time self-pity rant, which you can ignore.

In fact, I was moping about the fact that I worked late the whole week, but no no, don't have to take pity on me. I should be glad for that actually, because I was given an opportunity to do something big. Something that'll be on tv. Put smiley face. :)

Ya, happy la, even though I missed night time activities.

It's amazing to see how the opportunities come when you are patient and press on. And definitely, these are God-given, I have to acknowledge that.

You see the picture above? I was supposed to talk about my Bali trip, but no time lah. But I would like to share that special moment immortalised by this picture.

Para-sailing.

Basically, you wear your harness, you listen to the guy with 2 flags. And before you know it, your harness is clipped to the parachute and the people are asking you to run. Run! Run!

It's only 5 seconds before the wind takes you up. There's no way of coming back down, you're going higher now. You're scared, but all you can do is hold on to the parachute. You can see the boat now, then you see corals, and then you see the whole beach below you.

You're still scared. In awe, yes, but still afraid, tense. Afraid that you might somehow fall. It's beautiful though, and if you weren't so scared, you'll be enjoying the view.

Right there, right at the top of the world, with wind at your feet and the sky within your reach, you start talking to the only person who can calm you down. God.

After about 5-7 minutes, you find your feet on sand again. Ahh, you survived.

I've never been much of a thrill seeker, but I believe that this experience probably made me bolder, and grateful.

Wow, I have been empowered.

The Week.

Monday I mope.

Tuesday I mope even more.

Wednesday I mope the hardest.

Thursday I get sick of moping.

Friday I get sick of myself moping.

Saturday and Sunday so happy!

Monday I mope again.

Stressed is Just Desserts Spelt Backwards

Stress is but a passing phase.

That's what I tell myself.

Also, one step forward, but three steps back.

That is something I don't quite understand about myself. Always, you know. I see familiar things from 2010 in 2011, yet they are starkly different. And so I just have to remind myself, hello, not same anymore la. Stop living in the past, can?

Funny how when things are gone, you realise how much you've taken them for granted. And how beautiful they were.

I probably matured, by my own standards, in leaps and bounds in 2011. And I think my writing's very irregular. Like my heart has a stone and the words just don't come out right. Whereas I try to be happier/lame in my posts last time, I think my posts for this year don't really make sense.

And I over-analyze.

It's true. My heart has a stone. And this stone is trying to teach me a lesson, I reckon. About perseverance, about passion, about how I live, and most importantly, about love.

This is a fact- love never fades. It may dwindle, it may grow small, but it'll never fade. And it took me, what, the whole of my life to finally see how unselfish one can be when it boils down to the people you love.

I love love. Geddit? I lurve love.

Aiyo, so emo. Must be the lack of sleep.

Amongotherthings.

There's something about the 80s.

In spite of all its kitschy fashion sense and bad hairdos, something good came out of the 80s. The term "Rock n Roll". And the songs.




Can't get the opening riff out of my head. And the AWESOMENESS of the song.

Air Supply- Making Love Out Of Nothing At All



Air Supply- All Out Of Love



Bonnie Tyle- Total Eclipse of the Heart



The Cascades- Rhythm of the Rain (ok I think this one super old)



Guns N' Roses- Sweet Child 'O Mine



Bon Jovi- I'll Be There For You

On The Excitable-To-Death Thrill Of Diving*

So, there I was, floating in the middle of the sea. With an oxygen tank on my back and a dozen gadgets around me, in a wetsuit and flippers which I had struggled to put on with dear life, there I was.

It was only when the instructor, there were 3 of them thank God, asked us to press the button so that we would sink into the waters, that I realised that was it. "Oh shit."

I've never dived before. As cool as it looked, I never thought I would be doing it. I didn't quite think it through before booking the "Discover Scuba Diving" course with Leanne. C'mon, it'll be fun, I said. Okay, she said. Plus, Priscilla, my Anti-You teammate was having an internship there. Wouldn't it be cool if she was the one teaching us?

And as it turned out, she was the one teaching us. And 6 other Caucasians who picked up the theory part really quick. But I digress. Where was I?

Ah, yes. In the middle of the sea. I pressed the button, and soon I sank. It didn't feel cool the first time I felt my head go underwater. It was horrifying. Like, oh shit, what did I just do? A million thoughts about dying went through my head. I'm going to drown, I'm going to die, I'm going down and never coming up. That is, till I discovered the power of the regulator, also known as the thing you'll wanna suck on and never let go ever.

Well, of course, during the theory part, Priscilla did a great job explaining the mechanisms of diving and the functions of the equipment, including the regulator which you use to suck oxygen. But when your head is underwater, and all you want to do is breathe through your nose, which you can't, obviously, and you see a million new things that you've never seen, what happens is panic.

It's a different kind of six feet under.

After a while, I calmed down. I guess survival instincts kicked. If I don't calm down, I'll just die in that sea, which would be silly considering the surface was only about 10cm away from the top of my head. Plus, I saw that the rest of the beginners had no trouble getting to about 4 metres deep, and the other instructor, Mike, was already beginning his lessons with them underwater.

Singaporeans die die also cannot lose face. And in this case, it was literal.

So I decided to buck up, and swim to where they were, forcing myself not to breathe through the nose but through the regulator. But then, another problem presented itself. The deeper I went, the more the eardrums and the brain felt like bursting. It was like being in an airplane, only 100000 times worse and more painful.

Ok. Maybe I'd rather lose face than die.

In the end, I went back upwards to the surface- by then I knew how to go up to the surface, that's probably the only thing I learnt. Leanne was there, at the surface too, with the same problems. We couldn't equalize, Priscilla said, but it's okay, because it's an issue a lot of new divers face. So for the first part of the day, we floated along the surface looking down into the sea. Snorkeling, in a diving suit.

During lunch, Priscilla explained the ways to equalize. Just close all your airways and force air out, like how you try to stop a sneeze.

After lunch, we went back down and tried again. This time, Mike took me while Pris took Leanne. I got the hang of it after a bit, and the equalizing thing worked. After a few seconds, the head didn't feel like bursting anymore- YAY! No more deathly images of my own brain matter floating in the sea. Breathing through the mouth became easier as soon as I told myself, if you start breathing through your nose, you'll die.

While Leanne had not much luck equalizing- it's really scary as hell feeling your brain stretch, I had the opportunity to swim around with Mike. Wasn't swimming much, anyway. Rather, it was him pulling me along. Anyway, we were at a famous shipwreck site, so I got to see parts of the ship and the aquatic life that now lived in it. It's amazing how much beauty there is in the water, but of course, you have to calm down first to appreciate them. Mike pointed out a whirling school of jack fishes. There must be hundreds of them, swimming in one ball. Spectacular. He also led me through the wreck, and I mean THROUGH the wreck. Of course, I had to stop everytime we went deeper to equalize, but I probably went about 10metres. Which was good enough for me, a first timer.

You can die diving.

But to see life underwater is like being in the world of Avatar, totally unreal and different. I can't say that all the risks involved are worth the experience, but what I can say is, the human body is highly adaptable. Maybe one day, I'd have the time and courage to get the license.

But that's another day. And that will be another story altogether.

* I had the urge to write this down lest I forget how scary being impulsive actually is.

The Anecdotal Hong Kong Hangover Part 2: Freeloader Alert

This post is a guide on how to survive on zero amount of money in Hong Kong. Simple, grab a parent and go.

Yeap, I became a freeloader for 4 days.


I'm such a happy freeloader!

This was because I needed to save up for my Bali trip, and with my finances, the reality was that I could only afford 1 trip, which I had intended was the Bali trip. But bless my Mama, she said that she wanted to reward me for working so hard, so she decided to sponsor this Hong Kong holiday.

Now, the tricky part is, how do you pay for things without actually paying? Here's 3 easy steps.

1. Smile wide and point. "Hehe, Mummy... nice hor?"
2. Get Mummy to buy something from the same place. "Eh! Look nice on you!"
3. Seal the deal by putting your freeloaded goods with Mummy's stuff when she pays for hers.


New basketball shoes!

Wah, I can hear you "tsk tsk-ing" already. That's what my big sister did for the whole trip. "Eh, you not pai seh one hor?"

My reply? "I got no money to be pai seh leh."


Ya lor, very happy.

That said, I know and I really thank the Man Above for my family who has thoroughly blessed me and feed me. If you see my double chin, you know they feed me really well.

But you know, we, as humans, always have something to grumble about. I know I do, which of course, if you put the magnitude of His blessings for you against whatever you're grumbling about, it becomes miniscule. Like a Pi Sai in your nose. We just gotta dig it out, shoot it off, and move on.

Haha. Such a disgusting analogy.

Actually, I did work for the things I bought. By doing what I do best- navigating. And even though, as usual, my mum and sister are always doubtful of where I bring them, we always get to the place in the end.

Next up- How to navigate the streets of Hong Kong.

A Good Break

And I'm home after another vacation in nearby Bali.

It was a good break and I'll be writing all about it, along with The Anecdotal Hong Kong Hangover.

Gosh, I'm so lucky.

Maybe my life isn't as exciting as plain bread anymore.

With God in control, life's never dull.

I Go Back To December All The Time

Because I was unemployed and a bum.

Because it's my birthday month.

Because I'm still penniless after 9 months. Where did all my money go?

Because I still had a red car.

Nevermind, just 4 months to go till it's December again!

The Anecdotal Hong Kong Hangover Part 1: The Masseuse Murderer

Hello everybody. I'm just back from a nice 4 day 3 night trip from Hong Kong. And because you know how much I like to talk about my travels, I hereby present The Anecdotal Hong Kong Hangover. This can be used as a travel guide for future travelers to Hong Kong, but it's really lousy, so please use Lonelyplanet or something better if you wish to gain good, solid information. Anyway, this is a really short series because yours truly has to go back to work soon, so, enjoy.

This first story is on the Masseuse. Even modified a song about her which you can see on my FB status. It all started when my mum, my sis and I were so tired after a day at Ocean Park, then a night at Mong Kok that we decided to go for a foot massage. We went to a place where my sister had gone before, and we took the package that had 60 minutes foot massage + 25 minutes body massage. The foot massage went great. And then, it was the body massage. That's when it all began.

My masseuse was petite, and keeping in mind not to be rude, had a huge front which she flaunted proudly with a low cut tee. I had to avoid looking at the twin peaks every time she bent over to clap the leg muscles during the foot massage. But never mind those, they weren't the deadliest things on her. For sure.

So, I was ushered into a small room and had to lie down on a bed with a hole in the middle for my face. After 25 minutes, while I was changing back into my clothes, I told my sister who was in the same room that it wasn't a massage.

It was murder.

"Huh? What?" My sister asked.

No doubt about it. Don't let her small size fool you, this masseuse has killer elbows. And when she felt that the strength wasn't enough, she would climb on top of me and "HAIYA!", jab 'em down my shoulders.

Okay la, she never shouted "Haiya".

It's actually kinda my fault. I only told her it really hurt after she was done with one side. And she said "Huh? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I thought you enjoyed it."

No. I may look like I was enjoying it, but I was dying inside. Of immense pain. And I wondered how she derived that I was enjoying it because my face was stuck in that hole, wincing at the only things I can see- her shoes and the floor.

"I think she was trying to seek revenge because we didn't want the pedicure." I told my sister, as an afterthought.

"Eh, but I also didn't want to do the pedicure, and my masseuse was okay." My sister said.

Well, perhaps I've not been pre-warned about the HK-style hard massage. More used to the smooth oil Thai massage that doesn't involve jabbing. The HK masseuse, in her defense, said that pain is good, that it'll feel really good after.

Of course it'll feel good. Anything will feel good if you're not jabbing at it like meat on a chopping board.

She left a long-lasting and deep impression on me.

Because the very next day, I could still feel the part of my back where she jabbed.

I'll never forget you, Masseuse with the twin peaks and killer elbows. You've got the moves like Jabber.

For One More Day

And I'm gonna head home now.

Probably tomorrow I won't be able to sleep- not because I'm excited- but I'll be staring into Final Cut the whole night.

But I'm excited. About the thing I'm going to be making.

Hopefully it'll be good.

:)

Goodnight for now.

I Guess We're Done For Now.

Xinying, Small Forward

I squeezed my only non-working day free dry, like a lemon, today.

First it was the 3-on-3 tournament at *scape which lasted from 8.15am till 6pm. I had a lot of fun, and also saw/ played with many familiar faces. It's nice.

Xiaomei! Long time no see! It also happened to be her birthday today!

We managed a third placing, as we lost out in the semi-finals by 1 point. Well, I've never gone so far in a 3-on-3 tournament before, so it was still good.

I was telling Sam that we must strive for 3rd placing at least, because the 4th placing has no prizes. Halfway, I began to sing:

"It's all about the money, money, money...
We all need the money, money, money...
It's not about the (other) prizes,
It's all about the ca-ash...

All about the cha-ching, cha-ching
Not about the ba-bling ba-bling
Wanna get my money
So we must win 3rd prize"
(Sing to the tune of Jessie J's Price Tag")

And I gotta say, I banged into Haixin AGAIN.

It was the same situation as the Women's Open last year. I wanted to screen for her, but she decided to cut in between me and the person I wanted to screen. So, bang! She hit her head on my lips, but other than a bump, she was okay. It's funny, but at the same time, quite embarrassing.

I also got my first technical foul because I forgot after we score, we cannot touch the ball. (But the referee didn't give any warning. Horrible man.) And he almost gave me another one shortly after because I forgot again. The rules we were playing with today was so different from the normal 3-0n-3 rules.

Don't know why so many unlucky things happen to me today. I was seated near the courtside when an intense match were going on between 2 Men's team. As I was standing up, a player flew towards me in a bid to try and save an out-of-bounds ball. And it was just nice that when he swung his hand, my head popped up.

It hurt. But even worse, it was really embarrassing.

Nevermind, brushing it off.

In the evening, the Jumpshot team played the 3rd-4th placing game, so we hurried from *scape to BAS. Sadly, when we arrived, it was almost half time and the team was being whipped. Basket after basket went into our net from fast breaks. We tried to catch up, and did a really great job in the 4th quarter, but alas, it was too little too late.

But nevermind again. Brushing it off.

As the teammates say in their last words interview with my Zoom 4n, "We'll be back... stronger."

Basically, now I'm really tired. So it's lights off for me now, and then a grueling 5 days of non-stop work. But it's okay....

HONGKONG ON SATURDAY!!! VACATION, HERE I COME!!!

All We Need Is Encouragement

Cheryl, Centre

I was thinking while driving my dad's car on the way home, after sending 5 church friends home (just like old times), what if I take a one year break from work? Then I can travel the world. Well, on a shoestring budget of course. That's not hard, considering bread and jam spread are part of my staple when I travel, and a really great way to save on meals.

So, I said to myself, when I turn 27- literally the moment I turn 27, I should pack up and leave, then return on my 28th birthday.

Now how cool will that be?

Of course, conditions will be that I'm single/not pregnant/ have saved enough. I picked the age of 27 out of thin air, but I guess that would be the time where the 3rd condition would be most realistic.

Whaddaya think? It's going to be exciting/scary/tedious/a bitch/adventurous/ an eye-opener/ crazy/ dangerous all at the same time.

Oh wait, I've done those things. It's called "my job".

All the better. With so much training now, I'll probably survive to return for my 28th.

The Days Go Trudging On

Huiling, Power Forward/Point Guard

I need some inspiration.

A major edit (by me) hangs in the balance as the most boring product yet (in my opinion), and I need to squeeze out some creativity.

On a separate note, I need to stop dreaming. They are really disturbing/distracting and sucks up a lot of my sleeping energy. Especially when I dream about work, and then wake up to... no prizes for guessing...WORK!

That sucks. If only I can clock in those hours in my dreams for the real working hours. Then maybe I wouldn't mind.

Dreaming too many times is not healthy... right?

I need Hong Kong and Bali, which is 9 days away. YES!

And the countdown begins.

Red Blooded Passion

3-1 was the scoreline when I switched on the TV.

And when it was over, it was truly over. The floodgates opened and spectacular goals went in one after another. 8-2! We tore the Arsenal defense to shreds!

Two similar, but deadly accurate goals from Young, and we know that Fergie's next generation of fledglings is ready to snatch the championships again.

Glory to Manchester United, the club where Dreams are made of.

TaTan Tan Tan (Hum to the tune of Beethovan's 5th Symphony))

Jac, Point guard.


I walked past Wheelock Place today, and the Orange Julius outside was replaced by Garrett's. Borders is moving out. Starbucks has undergone a revamp and now looks like a chic coffeehouse.

And in the blink of an eye, it's time to take down the portrait of His Excellency S R Nathan and his wife after staring at them in schools for 12 years. It's time to usher in a new President.

Also, it's finally time for a break. 4 days in a row, after 19 days of work.

Wow. It's the dawn of a new era.

The Greatest Story Never Told

Won 2 and lost 1.

Lots of ways to write the script. So.... start now.

No wait-

Dreams, they jest.

I found myself in my old school after I fell asleep. Classmates from the secondary school appeared and we've to form a line. Hey, isn't this.. I trailed, and we were all happy to see one another again.

Ha. Secondary school. Those 'lion king' days were probably the most awkward and insecure days of my life- to date. Hello, mushroom head. But since a thicker skin have grown over this face over the last ten years, I doubt I'll ever feel so small again.

A stranger with a beautiful smile came into the dreamland. 'Why are you here?' I asked, but didn't get any answer. She sat down with me and listened to my stories on the secondary school life.

And that was my dream, before I woke up to piercing rays of sunlight and a (lovely) mother who shouted,'Late already! Late already!'

I've never been a good interpreter of dreams, or even attempted to interpret dreams. But standing in that past with my present being, it felt different.

In any case, I really don't know what the dreamt meant, but it was nice to dream of all of you again.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!

The Jumpshot Project

I have a/an
- entry level Canon 550 camera
- Zoom H4n sound recorder
- Lenovo PC monitor "stolen" from my Dad hooked up to my Mac
- Final Cut
- a cheapo tripod

And all I need to do is to come up with a brilliant script on the basketball team.

Guerrilla film-making, here I come.

Walking.

I'm on the train, as we speak.

The sound of the train whisking by is making me sleepy. My eyes are getting droopy, even more so by the minute, and I can't wait to get home.

But I feel like buying green apples first. Thank God for the 24/7 Shop n Save.

Last week I had no weekends. This coming week it'll be the same. Gwen, who randomly dreamt of me, was talking to me on whatsapp, and she asked," So are you happy at your job?"

"I dunno. Just do lor." I said.

Right now, I've no idea where these will take me. And I know I'm the kind you can call 'stupid', who is willing to help at no benefits. Yup, I'm the kind who'll drive you all the way home from one corner of Singapore to the other without question.

Sometimes, I do wonder if I'm worth more than what I'm doing now.

But as Felily said, I'm immovable. So I'll just, as your tee shirt/badge/handbag says, keep calm and carry on.

I'm now walking to buy green apples. Just cos it'll make me a wee bit happier. Smiley face. :)

And then I walked out of the supermarket with cheap ice cream, ice lemon green tea and my green apples. Gonna get myself fat, and I don't really care.

Walked past the Ben and Jerry's section, which I stared at for a while, then told myself,"Let's go." I can't afford luxury these days as I count down to Hong Kong/Bali, and I don't want to be reminded that my past only exist as a memory.

Now I'm walking home. Something new, to be typing and walking, not to mention carrying a 5kg crumpler and a bag of apples, ice cream and drinks. It's nice. To be away from the ipod for a while and hear the city which is still very much awake.

Alright, I'm almost home. What do I realise out of this walk home? Life's not a sprint, and mine's certainly not a marathon.

It's a bloody odyssey.

He Hears And Answers

God sends dreams to seraphs and whatsapp to cherubs.

And they've been nothing but angels to me.

Once again, it proves that He's been listening.

For the past few weeks, I haven't been feeling the best. Moody, mopey, with the thoughts of "life sucks" swirling around. I know the main reason for me feeling that way. It's a fear, really. Fear of being alone.

(Having colleagues that quit no sooner than you learn their surname does bad things to one's mental health. Also, having no weekends to go out and meet friends is a downer.)

Yesterday night, I got a teammate to drop me off at a bus stop after training, and only after waiting for 15 minutes did I realise the usual bus has changed its route. It no longer stops at the bus stop I was at. So, I picked up my bag and walked. Could've gotten a cab, but nah, thought it would be nice to walk.

And so I did.

Along the way, I talked to The Man Upstairs. God, please, show me your vision for me. Let me hear your voice and guide me to where I should be. God, why am I behaving like an angsty teenager, with so much sadness inside of me? God, what have become of me? Why do I constantly get stuck in the past, unable to move on? And God, I know it was my own foolishness that brought all this. I know it shouldn't be on You to remove this burden, but you are so wonderful and selfless, that I know I can count on you.

As I walked, I could feel my heart swirling as I poured out my emotions.

I've never been so emotionally affected before- and it isn't because of food. It's a million and one little insignificant things which collide and burst into a huge fireball of unwanted anxiety, self-doubt and low confidence.

But I believe that He's always there. It felt like He was stretching his hand out, beckoning me. "Child, take my hand and I'll pull you out." It's just that, somehow, I've become a whiny spoilt brat. "No, Father. Let me indulge in my self-loathe. Let me feel sorry for myself for being this way."

I finished the walk home with a soft "Amen."

This morning, I woke with the same ideas in my head. I hugged my bolster tight, hoping it would transport me to yesteryear. Of course it didn't, and I went to work. Out of nowhere, Felily sent a whatsapp message.

"I dreamt of you. How are you!"

"Not so good..." and I began to lament about my black hole state. It was comforting. Joyce, too, far away in Australia, have been praying for me.

And it reaffirms the truth that He's always, always here for me. No matter what.

Maybe my blog heading "Refine me, Lord, through the flame" is really a hard process.

Pray for me, and I'll surely get through.

Amen.

We used to chase fireworks.

Now we're just chasing greens.

Render Me Hopeless.

If there was a way where video doesn't need rendering to be viewed, editors would have a life.

Yup.

I'm waiting for the darn video to be rendered. At 9plus in the night. And I must say, it knows how to take its time eh.

Oh. It's done! Great.

回家！

Livin' on a Mountain High

(my brand new YA5 cell group!)

I bought a Zoom H4n and all my sister and I do is to sing into it like Karaoke.

But before you, the knowing videographer/soundman who knows the prowess of the Zoom H4n as a powerful low-budget sound recording device, interjects, it's because we're really too stressed from work.

Or rather, I am.

What's new, right? I'll be counting on adrenaline to push me through the month of August, where one weekend day is shoot day.

But I can do it, lah. Phillipians 4:13! Or is it 3:14?

-Now my sister is singing "Firework".-

3 giggly minutes later...

- And now my turn!-

Anyway, recently, I'm on a mission called "Ketchup". I'm trying to catch up (har har, hence the name) with people I haven't met in a while, and today, I met up with Yan Sze whom I haven't seen in 4-5 years at Renee's birthday, whom I haven't seen in 3-4 years before alumni . Then there was Cynthia, Yan, Kalai, Ah Qin from the Anti You team, Kenny who's been helping me all these years and I hope to add on, before my work drowns me and I fade into social oblivion (but famous on tv! HAHA.)

But usually, something has to trigger it first, like bumping into them, or being somewhere which reminds me of them, like Kenny who I always call in time of need. And for the longest time, the university So many people, so little time.

That said, Leanne, you're still on shopping priority la, k? Amanda, you're on blading priority and Charlene, yes, Captain America!

Joyce and Felicia, we're ketching-up in 中山公园.

- And my big sis has taken to showing me whatever's in her ear now and asking me to sympathise with her "wet and slimy" earwax predicament. "Eh you see" she says, and sticks the wax 5cm away from my face. "I think it's cos water went into my ear ..." She continues-

Aiya, now I forget where I was. Ah yes, ketching up!

But, my "minor" edit for one episode is done. Gotta check it.

Hmm, ketch up with you again!

Why I Like To Type Words On The Keyboard. A Monologue.

Because literature is therapeutic.

I've just finished watching my tv show on Okto, saw my name roll up under the credits as "Assistant Producer" and felt a really small surge of satisfaction running though my veins.

Really small.

Have name appear on tv- Tick.

Anyway, have been stalking other people's blogs (hey who haven't!) and trolling on Facebook (like you're not doing it now), just trying to gather a glimpse of what it would be like to be someone else.

To have a different life.

To walk a different path.

To have another hobby that doesn't involve a particularly bouncy ball.

To have a whole other personality and a hair of bright red.

Ah well, the fantasies continue.

Will I be cooler in the end?

Well, does it matter?

Actually I have to admit I don't know how to continue with this post, but because I like to type words on the keyboard without having to look at it, plus I can afford to stay up for another half an hour, that's why I'm still typing.

And you've just wasted 30 seconds of your life reading this.

But that doesn't mean you should stop.

I guess it's in the way I write about stuff. Some people just have that flair to hook people in, and I just want to be funny.

In fact, half the things I write on this blog are not raw front line events that impact me. They're whittled, censored and packaged into a happy meal text.

You know why?

Cos I'm scared. I don't want my life to be an open book, but I enjoy the thrill of writing on the keyboard.

And I like my secrets. Shhhh. I like them safe, I like them sound, and I like them where I can trust them. In the hearts of people who matter.

You know, I really don't know how to end this.

Someday, I'll get some cathartic reaction to the things I write and it'll all make sense.

For now, I need to give myself a reminder that doesn't make much sense

Not to you who views my life as exciting as bread, cos I said so-

That is:

Remember your choice and love it.

静茹与情歌

同样的一个地点。

同样是梁静茹。

同样的歌声。

但，四年前坐在室内体育馆的我和现在的我分别好多哦。

她的歌仍然好听。

只是，因为加了好多好多人身经验，她的歌带着哝哝的回忆。

对吧？两个上海的？

哎呀，就是很开心啦。在听的过程中，回忆不停地浮现在眼前。

都是美好的。

而且，可以看的出她真的真的用心地唱，把她最好的呈献给观众。

赞！



出场了！



我们小手拉大手
一起交游
今天别想太多



吻要闭上眼睛感觉
能让我飞也让我流泪
我都要你知道
－我都知道



爱你不是两三天
每天却想你很多遍
还不习惯孤独街道
拥挤人潮没你拥抱



我想说其实你很好
你自己却不知道
真心的对我好
不要求回报
爱一个人希望他过更好
打从心里暖暖的
你比自己更重要




我喜欢就这样
躺在你身旁
我喜欢赖在床上
看你喝汤



梁静茹， 我爱你！！



如果我说
爱我没有如果
真的爱我就放手一博
还想什么还
怕什么
快牵起我的手



可惜不是你
陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失了那路口



分手快乐
祖你快乐
你可以找到更好的



勇气



爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言飞语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义



你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱
就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜



Fly Away 当我不顾一切无止禁追寻
有一个人
有一颗心
早已经默默之中在那里

And the people who watched her concert were:




Hui Li's boyfriend. He's been a fan since 1999!



Charlene, who asked me to sit further from her because I kept screaming.



Hui Li, who messaged me if I was there. Turned out we were one block away in the stadium.



Charlene and Hui Li.



Hui Li and me.

梁静茹，快回来吧！