Musings for a Rest Day.

Woah, I did a lot of stuff for a Sunday.

I scrubbed my car today.

Scrubbed it hard with soap and my dad sprayed it with water at his warehouse. It is very important to me that I have finally acknowledged this commitment with the Car, and therefore I have cleared all the rubbish/leaves/unwanted bottles of water/parking coupon stubs as well as put a small bottle of hand sanitiser plus wet tissue in the front compartment so that I can clean bird shit at will (and I'm going to capitalise the first letter of "Car" whenever I mention it), not to mention bought glass cleaning liquid to try and make the windows less dirty.

It was hard work, but I did it. (but tio-ed bird shit about 15 minutes later. !@#!$@%$)

I went for training afterward, but it was just me and Zhao. Coach came, and instead of training, he started talking for 2 hours. It was really interesting, but it does put the brain into overdrive. He talked about a lot of concepts, ideas and many deep dark things in this small little enclave we call "passion". Really, after turning 21, you cannot think of things as they look. You have to dig, sometimes really deep, and the stuff you discover in there arn't that pleasant. Oh well. I can't wait to start training again though. At least let me play in the Open just once.

I also went for my referee Beep test today. Just get it over and done with so that I can referee games and earn more money for my graduation trip. Grow, money, grow! The 66 laps were something. But it was expected, since I haven't exercised in a week. LPBT here I come!

But throughout the whole day, the most important thing I did was to go to Church! I want to praise the Lord because my FYP team got the Singapore Film Commission funding. After 2 to 3 months of waiting, they finally replied and gave us just enough to cover costs.

Prayer works.

Really. Prayer does wonders. God does wonders and I just want to sing out loud that He is "altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me." I thank the people who has helped to pray for me, and this project, and I thank God for answering.

The Lord provides.

And Church is no longer a scary place, which I felt the first time I came. Every Sunday morning I come in, I am greeted by so many familiar faces, concerned people, lovely people. But I think I still need to put in effort to be more committed for fellowship sessions. Plus when BFF (best friends forever, issit ah, Ros?) starts, I should propose that we go on mission trips together.

I love my God.

Aussie Days

The stage is set. The dates, more or less.

And if the Australians ask, "Where the bloody hell are you?"

I'll answer, "Coming, coming!"

Hello, grad trip/adventure.

Sweeet.

Crash

Before I watched Tears of the Black Tiger, my hard disk had some problems.

After I finished the show (nice!), and the lecture, my hard disk crashed. Went kaput. Failed. 死不瞑目.

My boss from Fierce sent me her condolences. Tomorrow the IT guy is coming. Till then, I shall not press my panic-button yet. 1 scene and 2 shots haven't been uploaded into the school's server yet, and I'm not about to get my lead to dye his hair again and reshoot. No, that's not an option.

When there's a will, there's a way.

It's a fight against the machines. Neo, I need you.

Epilogue/ Year 4

It’s over.

4 years, 3 SUNIG, 4 IVPs, 4 gold and 2 silver medals later, here I stand, finally as an acknowledged member of the varsity basketball team.

You’ll probably know my history in this team. I’d have probably said it a million times. And so I shall go no further to dwell in the past, other than to point out a new fresh fact that we lost to ITE on Thursday night.

Girls, I thank you for the memories. I hope the Rush and I have served you well. It was through you people where I realized that the car has an expanded seating capacity and that the way I play the game is truly flair-less. Nobody else bothers to reply the point guard when she says out the play. But, as Homer would say to a cake that has fallen on the pavement, “it’s still good, it’s still good.”

It’s actually not just good. It’s been fantastic.

I thank Cynthia for showing me round is a shape and it can bruise hips, Ah Fang for showing me love towards teammates, Ah Qin for her precious life lessons (bundled with her endless “evergreen” suaning), Shi Hui for her wise words (and lovely bed; sorry for traumatising you last semester), Baoxian for her chirpy exterior (but somehow, sadness looms), Jie Qi for always accommodating our ridiculous requests, Mei Fen for finally staying over, Kalai for her dance moves, Yan for her biblical wisdom, Jayne for her insatiable appetite for food, Pey Pey for her stupid tricks (because of you I’m using my brain more), Wan Mei for her calmness, Pris for her idiocy (but we love you anyway), Xiao Hei for your encouragements, and Jing Feng and Ling Di, for sticking around. Thank you coach, for encouraging me during trainings.

Zhi Hui, most importantly, for being through thick and thin with me these 4 years.

That’s it folks. The next thing I’m going to be shooting wouldn’t be the orange ball, but a proper film/video/something.

Get Some Gold

The Summary

Year 1 Post

A little season, a long way.

The university has clinched championships in the Institute-Varsity-Polytechnic Games yesterday. We've got what we wanted.

On looking at my first ever gold medal from a major basketball tournament, it has been a season where I learnt and immersed myself in the higher levels of play. Even though I did not feel as bonded to the team (a miracle does not one month make), I take in the joy of knowing these 14 or more individuals and the way they taught me to play the game in an entirely new level.

It amounted to something. Something that I gained, and something that I can give in future for my team.

This season, it was a time to cheer my friends on, and it was a time where my friends cheered me on. Thank you guys, for taking time to watch me play every game. And for the mad cheering that I could hear.

And as we wave goodbye to this season and welcome the next, which I believe will come soon enough, here's some parting words in french, "Au Revoir".

Year 2 Post

Going back through a time machine



As with Christina Aguilera, there needs to be a time where we go back to basics.

Basketball-wise, it's time to go back to that point where we decide this was our sport to live and die by, instead of a certain lil footy sport that seemed oh-so-attractive. NO. Basketball was what we chose.

That's the time where the simplest, purest pleasure was experienced by the first proper lay up executed.

Or the first shot that went in for the first game that you played.

Pleasure aside, there were also the sad times. Times where you slap yourself as a bench warmer because, seriously, you can't do anything to help the team if you want to and the coach uses his authority to make known to you that you can't do anything. Times where you question if you really belong some in a team which you barely squeak during training.

What I've learnt so far is never to say you're not good enough. Being good enough is only a matter of time and effort.

Play the game when you're playing the game. Nothing else matters.

Way to commemorate my 8th year of playing basketball, huh?

Year 3 Post

We are the Champions.



It was the Global Immersion Programme talk that very morning. The speaker was animated, keeping the crowd entertained with anecdote after anecdote of the things in Shanghai. There I was, sitting on the third row, trying hard to focus on his floppy grey hair and the way they reacted whenever he moved.

I yawned. My eyes are droopy, but I shook my head to keep awake. It wasn't the speaker's fault, but mine. I had slept at 5am, finishing up a video conceived by Cynthia and Felicia so that I can show it tonight, after the IVP finals.

I didn't know I had drifted off, and only found out when I heard a voice that said "Nan Da..." It was only when I wanted to open my mouth to say "Jia You", that I awoke and found myself at an inappropriate place to shout the "Jia you". Now the speaker was talking about doing business in Shanghai, or something along that lines. I listened.

Then, instinctively, my shoulders moved. My body was trying to do a fake. Wait, I reminded myself, I'm not at the basketball court now. I'm in a bloody auditorium, with Joyce dozing off beside me.

It was weird, but it made me smile under my breath.

Fast forward to 8pm later, we were all psyched up for the final game. Us versus (reverse) SUN. SUN was a powerhouse team, no doubt, and brimming with stars. They crushed all their previous opponents in the tournament, not just crush anyway, they steamrolled them. With nifty pick and rolls, and a penchent for fast passes and shooting, their offense moves killed the defence of many teams in the first quarter.

We were a different team altogether. Drafted into the "Group of Death", where two teams were in the top four last season, we had to play every game carefully. There were detractors all around, such as Mr Jerkface, saying that we'd never survive the first round. Our team was also different. Every victory was a hard fought game, where we always clung to our lead till the last whistle. By the end of the first round, we did the impossible by becoming top of our group.

That was because we found the winning formula.

The answer to winning was simple. It wasn't just about the stronger players in the team, whether they performed well individually or not. It wasn't a calculation, to see whose bench players are stronger or weaker. It wasn't about the 5 people on court, whether they worked well with each other.

You see, basketball was not meant to be played with 5 people on each team. It is meant to be played with 15.

From the first game to our last, one could feel all 15 players on court. We shouted ourself hoarse during every match, from the first quarter to the last. The five players who represented us could hear our voices, and they could feel our belief. We never gave up during any matches. All of us had the same thing in mind. There we were, killing the opponents who only played with 5.

There was many tricks to make 15 become a team. Throughout the tournament, we played the Angel-Mortal game. We had training in between matches. We had dinner together after training. We played 7-level Pig. We played hide-and-seek. We had a sleepover. We played Taboo, Twister and Hide-and-Seek.

All of us became friends.

As friends, we started having inside jokes. Our captain is Ah Fang, and Cynthia is the no. 1 in 笨笨排行旁. Pey Pey emits light, and Jayne's hair may be a wig. Pin is too young for her age and Bao Shuang has face spasms. Kalai loves to dance as much as Xiao Hei loves to bounce. We strive to have beautiful endings with WanMei and Yan Yan wins hands down for being the loudest. Kathrin is practising her "Nan Da Jia You", and Zhi Hui is the glue that holds us. Belicia shows us where's the love, and Pris is Babarella. Jean and Michelle are our pillars. As for me, I live in the "mole-ment". And of course, our beloved Coach, also known as Charlie (we're Charlie's Angels) always provide us with fruits for thoughts like "Do you gets it?" and "Walk your talk."

Therefore, we went into the finals, knowing that this would be the biggest advantage we'll have over the SUN.

The game started. Jayne tipped the ball, but none of our team players got to it. As the oppenents started their 1st play, the whole SRC suddenly boomed with our voices. "DEFENCE, DEFENCE!" We shouted. I swore it was the loudest ever. As much as I could be wrong, I did feel that the opponents were taken aback by the ferocious screaming of our team.

We went on a 7-nil run. The spirits were high.

After a while, they managed to rebound back and were neck-and-neck. We would pull away with 10 points, but they always managed to close the gap fast. We had a few shots in which were quite ambiguous too. The ball would dance around the rim for a while, twirl a little, but it went in. We call that "home advantage".

During the fourth quarter, in the last 2 minutes of the game, we were still neck-and-neck. However, the difference between our opponents and us began to show. Their five people looked frustrated. Their bench was quiet. Our bench, on the other hand, were just making as much noise as we can. For every free throw they get, we'd go "REBOUND BLOCKOUT REBOUND BLOCKOUT" as much as we can. With every ball we got in, everyone was jumping. The last minute came, and the bench held hands and stood. 50 seconds left and we were leading by 3. 15 seconds left, we were still leading. They started to foul us, forcing time to stop. There was a time out, where we were all jumping like monkeys already. Coach has to shush us to talk. Cynthia had two free throws and the whole bench shouted "Just put it in!" (another inside joke) while laughing among ourselves. Yes, she put them all in. We led by 5.

2 seconds. Jayne put in a lay-up and was fouled. 60-53, the scoreboard read. We were already jumping for joy. The bench were hugging each other. She shot. It rebounded and landed somewhere. The buzzer sounded. And then, the entire bench erupted.

It was the most surreal feeling. We all rushed out, and everyone hugged each other in a mass hug. We were screaming like mad, and it was fantastic. After shaking hands with our opponents, we proceeded to Tau Pok our coach- yes, only when you win Championships can you do that to your coach- who, poor him, almost suffocated and crushed by our weights. Bel said," I've never been so happy before to be sitting on the bench," and I agreed with her totally.

After having 2 trainings a day, 3 trainings a week in December, including Christmas Eve and New Year's eve, trainings in January in the midst of the tournament, we've done it. The blood, sweat, tears and laughter paid off. I couldn't be prouder to be in this team.

We went to Geylang for supper, my eyes nearly closing from the lack of sleep. We whispered to each other, "hey, you know what?" and when the latter asked "what", we'd shout in the poor person's ear, "WE WON!"

Last night, as my head finally hit the bed at 4am, I fell asleep with a huge grin on my face.

The last day

Okay. Tomorrow, or technically later today, will be the last game of my university life. 4 years, 4 whole seasons, and it's now come to this.

Time and tide wait for no man.

But I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Learnt so much about being a centre even though I was supposed to be a forward. Haha, so weird. But it's still good.

I think I'm talking like a teenager. I better stop. Like now. Like now.

Okay. Stop.

Tomorrow's it. That's it, Deanna. You better shout for what it's worth, cos it's the last gold medal you'll ever want in your university life.

The next medal shall be an Oscar or something along that line.

(It's the lack of sleep.)

I love my team. Get some gold.

Psalm 55

"My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
at the voice of the enemy
at the stares of the wicked
for they bring down suffering upon me
and revile me in their anger..."

"But I call out to God
and the LORD saves me."

I pray that the bad people go away.

Asian Cinema Week

I was flipping through an old reader of a module I took in Korea in 2007 called "East Asian Cinema: From National to Transnational", and I found an article by my now-lecturer of the one module I'm taking now called "Asian Cinema".

Sadly, even though the two modules sound similar, they aren't really. For one had a specific focus about the evolution of specific national cinemas while the latter is much more broad and general.

I launched into my first reading of the semester which looked at the form and style of Chinese cinema, apparently the article tries to compare it to Hollywood in order to distinguish a form of cinema, and found that some aspects were downright similar and some more geared towards European cinema. And that Taiwanese art films, stubborn and rebellious like its political inclination, tries to move against the mainstream and goes all Italian Neorealistic. (Read: uber long takes)

Well, it shows that I DID read the article.

Which is a good thing. Because I was about to talk about my state of loss during the past week. It was a real sense of being neither here nor there. I haven't quite gotten into the mood for school, with only 1 lecture and 1 tutorial to attend. Most of the clique have their lessons on Tuesday and Fridays, which means I won't see them at all or much. Probably won't notice if anyone shaved their head or got a haircut. The basketball team also experienced one loss- literally, while having matches and training on alternative days. The school, currently under construction, looks like a war zone and doesn't help either.

But, because I read the article, I felt the rush of blood to my head. That same rush which comes along when I'm feeling motivated. I think church today helped too, because I learnt about Jesus' parables when he was faced with the Pharisees' unreasonable questioning and boy, my Jesus is so smart! So, Deanna, focus and it will be done.

Now, to transfer this rush over to tomorrow so that the FYP can transit smoothly into the post-production stage.

And also emails be answered after a major lag. (Yikes)

Lastly, no blues on Monday please.

The night is too young.

I'm home. At 11pm, after training.

There's something wrong here. I shouldn't be home. I find myself not knowing what to do. It seems strange that I'm home at this time.

But well, thanks to the Mother, here I am. A good girl.

I have nothing much to blog about, I realise. I guess I'm suffering from literary constipation. I can't seem to want to type out long, lengthy descriptions of things I have discovered in my everyday life.

A theory could be that my mundane life is too boring these days, hence the lack of epiphanies. But then again, I honestly beg to differ. With the IVP season in full swing, school coming around and the other things, be it large or small, that has been happening around me, I can say my life is still swingin'. What's not to treasure, when this is the official last semester of the Singapore education system for me? Michael R.I.P Jackson couldn't have summed it up better. THIS is it.

By the end of August, the square hat would have been tossed high into the air. That's what we all live for, don't we? Here we are, every few years, fighting tooth and nail for a place in the most prestigious academies and schools, just so that we can inch our way closer and closer to a university degree. And once we've gotten that degree, that's all there is to it.

Even though I do believe that the working world is probably more exciting that what we give credit for, I still dread its beckoning. Life will be reduced to weekends, and weekends will be eaten into for that award-winning pitch/video/campaign. And by the time you know it, you'll be having awkward matchmaking dinners with SDU members as you try to force yourself to think that you've still got the charm when you are, in fact, the resident office bitch/old virgin.

Hey, I'm just trying to hope for the best but expect the worst.

Before you suck me dry, worklife, I'm gonna make my last semester count.

Hitched.

Before the sun was even up on Sunday morning, everyone in the Tan household, and a few other girls who were the bride's "sisters" were up and about. There, the sister sat in the chair in the wee hours, waiting to be made up.

As the sky began to brighten, the amount of activities increased and by the time I know it, she was dressed, veiled and ready to be married off. A party-pooper from downstairs came up to complain that we were making a lot of noise, which is ridiculous because whaddaya-expect-this-IS-A-wedding-duh!

At least the noise we made is once-in-a-lifetime!

Soon, the arrival of the groom was signaled by a mega-loud horn (which led to the Mother calling up the groom to stop him in case the stupid neighbour complains again), and the sisters were hard at work in preparing the "test" for the groom. There was chili, wasabi, vinegar, more wasabi, and whipped cream. (He hates wasabi)

He even had to read a poem and sing a song before they let him into the room.

Then it was off to the in-laws for the tea ceremony, and then back home for our tea ceremony.

I was the videographer for the morning's events, running up down left and right, and then coming back home to edit the whole chuck for the night's dinner. All I could think of was that it felt like another James Maraita assignment. I even spent the cocktail reception inside the ballroom, staring and waiting for the video to be compressed in my laptop for one whole hour while the rest mingled outside. I saw the hotel manager prepping his staff in the ballroom for the dinner, and waitresses asking "Can we change table to serve?" or "I don't like my table." The only person I mingled with was this waitress auntie serving table No. 1.

But finally, finally, it was done.

Dinner commenced, the videos I did was shown, (I thought it was too dark and too naggy, could have cut the video tighter), the Yum Seng came and everyone ate their food. It was then that I realised I was bored to tears. That's because the person who usually entertained me was the one getting married today! The one person who said during another cousin's wedding that she would hold her wedding at the void deck, and use wooden chopsticks that go "PIAK" (Bluff people), and then laugh hilariously to herself was sitting at the other table now, poised and awkwardly eating with the in-laws.

At the end of it, the groom got drunk, the bride changed surname and I went back home without one stupidly funny sister.

Aw.

Wedding Blues

The imp on the right of the above picture is getting married on Sunday.

And right now, in the Tan household, we're on the brink of a heated war of words between the bride and the Mother.

"There has to be some people who face the wall what!" Says the bride about the arrangement of the dinner tables.

"If the Muslim people can go eat the Vegetarian table food, then got space." Says the Mother.

"I've got 6 tables and Papa has 23 tables leh! Who is he inviting? Do I even know them?" Says the bride.

"Eh, I'm the Mother-in-law, I'm not supposed to be doing all these okay?" Says the Mother.

And in the middle of all these, I'm burrowed in my desk, trying to make a wedding video for the bride. (Free labour)

It's chaotic, dramatic and the worst thing is, it's in 2 days. Everyone has the Panic button switched on in this household.

And amid all these hectic arrangements and ever-changing itinerary, we all forget that Disa Tan will no longer be around to provide mindless entertainment and silly puns every night from Sunday onwards.

The big sister is off to live her second life. And soon, she'll probably need loads of family planning advice and investments in contraceptives before the right time comes. This wedding, although fraught with countless obstacles and nightmares, is nothing compared to what the future have in store for the big sister and the brother-in-law.

Let us all hope that they live blissfully, that all obstacles shall be swatted away or solved and with luck, she doesn't turn into the Mother.

It's a mad season.

January again. It's the last season in the school with two spines and dull grey walls. Not to mention the only place where you can die if you jump from the 1st floor.

Let me make the best of this one last semester.