Baptised.

On the 8th of January 2012, I was baptised in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Video evidence showed that my face was one of fear and nervousness. My friends, who were in the chapel, giggled and laughed when they saw how different I looked as compared to Joyce, who was baptised right before me. She had a face of calmness, like she was well prepared and ready.

After the ceremony, people asked me, "Eh, what happened to you? How come you look so scared, like you want to smile but you don't want to smile?"

To tell the truth, I'm not really sure, but I believe that it has got something to do with my mother.

Rewind to 2 months ago.

When I finally obtained the baptism form, and told my parents, they had no intention of coming to my baptism. Thankfully, my big sister was very encouraging and she told me she'll come. She also successfully coaxed my small sister.

However, my mother insisted that she had no business to be there.

Okay, now back to the 8th.

I was very excited on that day, because I was able to show 1/3 of my family what I was up to, what my church looks like and what we do here. As the ceremony neared, a little girl seated next to me had her whole family in tow. Sisters, cousins, aunties, and of course, her family. They happily took pictures, and in order not to ruin their shot, I had to dodge a little.

While the rest of my friends came, my sister called to inform me they'll be running a little late. Can anot? She asked. She was afraid that at 1.45pm sharp, I'll be dunked and she'll miss it all.

"Can, can." I said. I was number 33. It will take a while before it'll be my turn.

After Praise and Worship, I was in overdrive. I turned around to search for my two sisters in the chapel. Hmm, where could they be?

Then I saw them. There wasn't just the 2 of them though, my very own mother was seated right there, just before the last row where Auntie Ruth and Uncle Tony sat. "Joyce!" I said, "My mother is here leh!"

It was surreal. Very overwhelming. And then my heart never stopped beating rapidly after that.

On the stage, about a few people before my turn, I was still looking up at my mother and my sisters, waving happily to them. I guess in hindsight, I should have taken some time to catch my breath, pray for calmness and peace during the baptism. But I didn't. I was so caught up in seeing my very own mother here, and feeling so blessed by His goodness that I became a small little jumpity excited child again.

In the pool, while the Elder Daniel Foo held my hands and said the lines, I was still full of excitment. "Don't breathe in the water, don't breath in the water," was all that was running through my mind. "Oh shucks, there's a videocam on my face and I'm live in front of the whole chapel. Where do I look, what do I do?"

And that explained the mystery of my perplexed face.

But when the moment came for the pastor to push me into the water, it happened fast. It was painless, relaxed, and all seemed peaceful again. It was His goodness rushing over me.

However, when I rose from the waters, I was again, my anxious self, trying to sweep my untidy wet hair away from my face, and wondering whether the seed has been planted in my family's heart.

At the end of the day, a baptism is a simple ceremony to acknowledge Christ and to identify with His death and resurrection. But my baptism was really special. God gave me a big gift that day and that was my family, whom I have longed to share Christ with.

Epilogue

As I followed my family to do their shopping afterwards, my mother said that she came because at first, she wanted to wait for my sisters at Orchard. However, my big sister convinced my mother that it'll be fast and she didn't have to do anything, just sit and watch the ceremony. My mother kept saying it was by chance that she was there, even though she told my sister that I would surely be very touched if she appeared.

I was very touched. And of course, did she really appear by chance? That's what she would like to think, but I think we all know who's really behind this.