我要把铁棒磨成针

Drawing, shading and colouring is therapeutic.

I've Got A New Wacom Bamboo!

And so am trying to practice drawing on it. May also be using it for editing as one director has told me it's much faster. Sorry for the ugly drawing, hopefully it'll will improve with time.

Thank you Charlene Su Jieying (must put full name :)) for your lovely gift!

Mustafa Centre

As a night of furious discussions with the brother and parents during dinner drew to a close, the father decided to bring us to the only place still open to get the brother's watch in time for the start of his army daze tomorrow.

Mustafa Centre remains the only place where I'll get lost in, because nothing really make sense in there. From sports it jumps to toys, then hardware is right on top of the food section which is squashed on the middle floor. Or something like that. I find it rather amusing that every item is stacked on top of each other, limitless in quantity. It strips all brands down to what they really are- commodities. No frills, no glamour, just a lotta goods.

It also remains the best place to get props for production. I remember heading to mustafa at 7 in the morning 2 or 3 times just to get balloons for shoots. Or 10pm at night for drawing blocks and light bulbs.

Good for holding hands too, as you see all the Indian brothers clinging on to each other affectionately. Good for them la.

Love the place and all it's offerings. Beat that, NTUC.

It's Going to be a Long Year

Right. The year of the dragon has ushered itself into our midst.

Ironically, except for superstitious parents who are aiming for dragon babies, the year will probably creep by without much fanfare. By next month, we'll probably forget which zodiac sin this year falls under as we return to our daily grind. Which, by all accounts, is fine by me.

But of course, it was a good break. So good, that I prayed for rest and it literally came in the form of a relative's bed which I slept on for 2 hours. While my mother caught up with her sisters, I caught forty winks.

I just love God's grace and how our prayers are always answered in special ways.

Dong Dong Dong Chiang!

Is it Chinese New Year yet?

After a really hectic week- actually, am still having that hectic week, it is only Thursday night/ Friday morning after all- the Chinese New Year weekend doesn't feel like one.

Or rather, it feels even more kan cheong because it's the Chinese New Year weekend. No time to buy new shoes, or clean up the room, or even sleep, because it's just crazy.

Today, in the middle of quietness in the office (as everyone else was at home sleeping after an overnight shoot), I thought to myself as I was staring into Photoshop, "Is is how being a career woman feel like? To just work like crazy and not sleep and still have the energy to work the next day? To have no time to meet friends because of impending deadlines and assignments?"

"AM I GOING TO END UP ALONE BUT BE OKAY WITH IT?"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...."

Jang! Jang! Jang! (Literal translation of dramatic music that's always in my edits.)

Well, maybe I'll get the answer tomorrow when I stare at Excel to build up my post production schedule for the year. YES FOR THE YEAR. Till 2013, siao.

Okay, almost done syncing music for the new iPod Touch, which I christian-ed (such a blasphemous use of this word in this case) "Nonsense" when I thought it couldn't be synced. In the words of a boyband of yore, N'sync-ed. Or rather, and..... sync-ed!

Time to crash. Bye bye bye. (At 3am in the morning I can still pun. I surprise myself.)

Grace Is A Beautiful Thing.

This quote is very apt for me. But it's very random.


Today, after a "scary but punchy and impactful" service, Sheila was talking to her friend whom she'd just brought to church on the way to lunch.

The friend expressed his thoughts. "I felt that the church should emphasize on how the members should behave, on how to be good so that there is a clear idea of how Christians should conduct themselves, and be sinless and also, newcomers will work hard towards changing their hearts so that they can be ready to be Christians."

(something along those lines)

Sound logical right?

But God's grace defies logic.

Sheila answered,"That's where you are wrong. The thing about being a Christian is that we're all sinners. Only after we accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, then we are able to change, because He can then mould us and change us inside. If we were to do good works on our own in order to go to heaven, wouldn't that be the same as the basis of every other religion?"

That reminded me of Grace. His Grace.

When I just started out in my spiritual walk, my walk was slow. I wasn't anywhere near Him, and I had all the wrong ideas. My heart was in the wrong places and my mind was preoccupied. I was a sinner in my first year as a Christian, and I still am now, for there are so many traps and so many things of the world that still distracts me.

My non-believer friends asked me, "Why do you still follow Christ even though you've done things totally un-biblical, condemnable, wrong?"

"Because", it flowed out quite fast, without thinking,"even when I abandoned Him, He has never abandoned me. He showed me favour at work, He gave me opportunities, He helped me survive everything thrown at me, and he takes away my fear."

"He has never abandoned me."

Now tell me, how beautiful this thing Grace is? It's always there, for everyone to take and it's free. It's been paid for in blood. And it is enough for all men.

So, knowing that the Lord knows me and loves me for all my flaws and my weaknesses, it's my turn to learn how to love Him too.

"When we come to worship
bow down and pray
may the light of Jesus
anoint us each day"

With slightly deeper wallets comes great responsibility.

Okay, I admit.

I'm tiptoeing between the line of being a slightly indulgent shopper and a complete shopaholic.

I just busted the bank with a new iPod touch and new clothes amounting to no less than $300 in 3 weeks. Ah, help me!

On one hand, I feel the need to treat myself at the thought of turning a quarter of a century this year. Plus, the Chinese New Year tradition dictates that one should wear new clothes on the first day of spring.

On the other hand, wah lao! No savings already ah girl!

But every girl's clothes has a silver lining (pun alert!). Mine is that I have one sister to share them with. Granted, she's shorter, skinner and recently overjoyed because her boobs are much bigger (good for her), but well, she still can fit into my clothes. So, not so bad la, hor? One top, 2 people share. That makes good economic sense, if I say so myself.

I'm really bullshitting my way through. HAHAHA.

Baptised.

On the 8th of January 2012, I was baptised in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Video evidence showed that my face was one of fear and nervousness. My friends, who were in the chapel, giggled and laughed when they saw how different I looked as compared to Joyce, who was baptised right before me. She had a face of calmness, like she was well prepared and ready.

After the ceremony, people asked me, "Eh, what happened to you? How come you look so scared, like you want to smile but you don't want to smile?"

To tell the truth, I'm not really sure, but I believe that it has got something to do with my mother.

Rewind to 2 months ago.

When I finally obtained the baptism form, and told my parents, they had no intention of coming to my baptism. Thankfully, my big sister was very encouraging and she told me she'll come. She also successfully coaxed my small sister.

However, my mother insisted that she had no business to be there.

Okay, now back to the 8th.

I was very excited on that day, because I was able to show 1/3 of my family what I was up to, what my church looks like and what we do here. As the ceremony neared, a little girl seated next to me had her whole family in tow. Sisters, cousins, aunties, and of course, her family. They happily took pictures, and in order not to ruin their shot, I had to dodge a little.

While the rest of my friends came, my sister called to inform me they'll be running a little late. Can anot? She asked. She was afraid that at 1.45pm sharp, I'll be dunked and she'll miss it all.

"Can, can." I said. I was number 33. It will take a while before it'll be my turn.

After Praise and Worship, I was in overdrive. I turned around to search for my two sisters in the chapel. Hmm, where could they be?

Then I saw them. There wasn't just the 2 of them though, my very own mother was seated right there, just before the last row where Auntie Ruth and Uncle Tony sat. "Joyce!" I said, "My mother is here leh!"

It was surreal. Very overwhelming. And then my heart never stopped beating rapidly after that.

On the stage, about a few people before my turn, I was still looking up at my mother and my sisters, waving happily to them. I guess in hindsight, I should have taken some time to catch my breath, pray for calmness and peace during the baptism. But I didn't. I was so caught up in seeing my very own mother here, and feeling so blessed by His goodness that I became a small little jumpity excited child again.

In the pool, while the Elder Daniel Foo held my hands and said the lines, I was still full of excitment. "Don't breathe in the water, don't breath in the water," was all that was running through my mind. "Oh shucks, there's a videocam on my face and I'm live in front of the whole chapel. Where do I look, what do I do?"

And that explained the mystery of my perplexed face.

But when the moment came for the pastor to push me into the water, it happened fast. It was painless, relaxed, and all seemed peaceful again. It was His goodness rushing over me.

However, when I rose from the waters, I was again, my anxious self, trying to sweep my untidy wet hair away from my face, and wondering whether the seed has been planted in my family's heart.

At the end of the day, a baptism is a simple ceremony to acknowledge Christ and to identify with His death and resurrection. But my baptism was really special. God gave me a big gift that day and that was my family, whom I have longed to share Christ with.

Epilogue

As I followed my family to do their shopping afterwards, my mother said that she came because at first, she wanted to wait for my sisters at Orchard. However, my big sister convinced my mother that it'll be fast and she didn't have to do anything, just sit and watch the ceremony. My mother kept saying it was by chance that she was there, even though she told my sister that I would surely be very touched if she appeared.

I was very touched. And of course, did she really appear by chance? That's what she would like to think, but I think we all know who's really behind this.

Tomorrow.

It's been a tiring day today with a full day of shoot.

But tomorrow, it'll be great.

After 2 years and 3 months of being in church, I'm taking a major step forward. Okay, it's actually not that major. Becoming a full time church staff or permanent overseas missionary, that's more major than what I'm doing now.

But still, each step gets us closer to God, and closer to Heaven.

So, I'm proud to announce that I will be getting baptised tomorrow!

To God be the glory.

Okay, now I need to rest. Very tired.

This Year Begins.

Tonight,

We are young.

So let's set the world on fire,

We can burn brighter than the sun.

Twenty Twelve.

I spent the first hour of 2012 watching fireworks from the 25th floor of an office building in Raffles Place.

Then the next hour relaxing in the office with Joyce, Cathy and boyfriend while waiting for the streets to clear.

After we finally thought that all is good at 2.30am, we stepped out from the building, only to see "zombies" at the sidewalk of every corner, every pavement, everywhere. They were all doing the same thing we wanted to do- stuck their hands out to flag for cabs. Some sat down, exasperated, some were dialing numbers like mad, and then there are the ones whose first few hours of 2012 were spent sleeping on the streets, dead drunk.

Our party of four went a big round and walked from Raffles Place to Chinatown, then to Central at Clarke Quay. There were people everywhere. Thank God for Cathy's brother, who come to pick us up in the cab snatching frenzy.

From the way these people partied, it seemed like they were partying like there's no tomorrow. Is 2012 going to be so hard?

I don't know, but I know it'll be good, as long as I take in my daily Bread and walk close with Him. It'll be great.