The Game.

Now, 2013.

Then, 2009.

My knees started aching late last year, after a long absence from training with the JS team. It didn't get much better. I used to like to jump up and touch the ceiling in my house, felt good to be able to touch it, and I have been able to since I was 16. A few days ago, I looked up at the ceiling of my new house in Lakeside, thought, why not, and went for it.

I couldn't touch it. As I landed, the knees felt the impact, and it was a sensation that I have never gotten before. When your body works, it works in such a wonderful, quiet way, that you never noticed. But when you get older, and machines get rusty, wow, the difference is significant. 

  

Sometimes I wonder to myself, why am I still here? On the highly polished wood surface, twisting every inch of my body, but slower. On the bench, cheering with 6 others, with a less enthusiastic cry, but still shouting, nonetheless. Why am I here?

  

Midway through the season, I have become somewhat of an encourager to my younger teammate, HQ. She's tough, she can run, and she can do many things. Slowly, and surely, she's becoming more confident, more assured and is unleashing her potential. There are times where things get the better of her, where she wants to work, but is just not there at the right time. Somehow, we managed to talk a bit more, and I've been trying to motivate her, and encouraging her. This role, I'm telling you, is new to me. But it makes sitting on the bench with a damaged body worthwhile while you see fully oiled and new person go down and win it for us. 

This game is love-hate. 

Many people before me, and even after me, have left the arena. One of my closest teammates would like to be done by the end of this season, and she's one who gets significant court time. Due to my work commitments and lack of talent (hurhur.. it's true la, I'm so lazy), I'm easily the rotatable player who is the first few to be omitted from the game.

But I look at the two pictures above, and wow, when we're at work, we really forget our brightest days. We've grown, up. We've matured. We've got jobs now which we clock in at a certain time everyday and leave at a certain time. In order to pull the 2nd picture, I had to plug in my old hard disk, and look through the hundreds of photos taken with these teammates. I watched through the ridiculously made 24 minute video of a girl with amnesia (without sound too I don't know why there's no sound), and it really made me laugh and smile. Truly ridiculous. Truly, my youth is over.

The human mind, once attached, finds separation hard. When we pull away, we lose a bit of ourselves, like how you can never pull out a plaster without it taking a few of your hairs. And I find it ridiculously hard. Like a coward, I wait, and I stay. I don't have to be prominent.

Aiya. Play until my knees give way la.