April Is Poetic.

So much love, joy, sometimes angst (from the stressed out sister), relaxation, God, and a meal in my favourite restaurant Chili's with important person sums up my April.

No shoot some more!!! For the whole month!!!! Wheeeeeee.

一颗烂的心

为什么我们懂什么是好的，但不去追呢？

为什么要总要往回头看，像一个白痴？

痴呆啊？发烧啊？

一颗心就这样烂掉。因为不能脱离残局，不能自由。

自由不是不可以。是自己笨，自己犯贱，不肯走。呆呆地躲在回忆里。。。 被它吞没。

人，是笨的。
 
“在今天太陽升起前　把心中空間清乾淨
我知道我就要開始回憶　像煙花綻放後留下黑影　不肯散去
　今天太陽升起前　把過去反覆想個過癮
　再無聲無息的把你忘記　只剩星空有紀錄可尋”
－ 梁静茹 Sunrise

Don't miss the water until it's gone.

I miss the water, so bad. Everything about the water.

The Game.

Now, 2013.

Then, 2009.

My knees started aching late last year, after a long absence from training with the JS team. It didn't get much better. I used to like to jump up and touch the ceiling in my house, felt good to be able to touch it, and I have been able to since I was 16. A few days ago, I looked up at the ceiling of my new house in Lakeside, thought, why not, and went for it.

I couldn't touch it. As I landed, the knees felt the impact, and it was a sensation that I have never gotten before. When your body works, it works in such a wonderful, quiet way, that you never noticed. But when you get older, and machines get rusty, wow, the difference is significant. 

  

Sometimes I wonder to myself, why am I still here? On the highly polished wood surface, twisting every inch of my body, but slower. On the bench, cheering with 6 others, with a less enthusiastic cry, but still shouting, nonetheless. Why am I here?

  

Midway through the season, I have become somewhat of an encourager to my younger teammate, HQ. She's tough, she can run, and she can do many things. Slowly, and surely, she's becoming more confident, more assured and is unleashing her potential. There are times where things get the better of her, where she wants to work, but is just not there at the right time. Somehow, we managed to talk a bit more, and I've been trying to motivate her, and encouraging her. This role, I'm telling you, is new to me. But it makes sitting on the bench with a damaged body worthwhile while you see fully oiled and new person go down and win it for us. 

This game is love-hate. 

Many people before me, and even after me, have left the arena. One of my closest teammates would like to be done by the end of this season, and she's one who gets significant court time. Due to my work commitments and lack of talent (hurhur.. it's true la, I'm so lazy), I'm easily the rotatable player who is the first few to be omitted from the game.

But I look at the two pictures above, and wow, when we're at work, we really forget our brightest days. We've grown, up. We've matured. We've got jobs now which we clock in at a certain time everyday and leave at a certain time. In order to pull the 2nd picture, I had to plug in my old hard disk, and look through the hundreds of photos taken with these teammates. I watched through the ridiculously made 24 minute video of a girl with amnesia (without sound too I don't know why there's no sound), and it really made me laugh and smile. Truly ridiculous. Truly, my youth is over.

The human mind, once attached, finds separation hard. When we pull away, we lose a bit of ourselves, like how you can never pull out a plaster without it taking a few of your hairs. And I find it ridiculously hard. Like a coward, I wait, and I stay. I don't have to be prominent.

Aiya. Play until my knees give way la.

 

If God is for me..

Who can be against me?

No one!!

Faith In Humanity Destroyed

I cannot understand why people cannot fight for their own people.

And also, for what's right.

I just thank God that no one human being is above the law.

The law serves the innocent and punishes the guilty.

If you threaten, hit and slap someone in an arena with 100 witnesses, you will be punished.

If you see something but choose to ignore it, congratulations, you've just added on to the decay of our society.

If you try to justify the act of hitting someone because he's a foreigner, you might have a deadly bout of Xenophobia and you need to get checked out, or counseled. Before you start to whack others yourself. It's a dangerous world, especially if people like you exist.

If your man got whacked, and you call it a misunderstanding, I don't think anyone will want to work for you ever.

And the above, are nothing but words. Commentary, writer's own opinion.

"Faith in Humanity". It is the numskulls, the fist-wavers, braggers, people who think they're bigger than the world, who destroy this faith in humanity.

Again, I thank God that no human being is above the law.

I want to remember today.

Today, I got to get down in the 3rd quarter, with a tight scoreline.

Today, I shot 3 shots and they all went in.

Today, I prayed before the game, expecting not to play today because I got my chance on Friday. I prayed for the team to do well today and get our first win.

Today, I saw the heads of my tremates hanging low in the 2nd quarter. I saw us self destruct and trailing by 6 points. I saw doubt and fear.

Today, I made a difference, when Ii went down and scored those 3 consecutive shots. And I praise God for it. Thank you Lord for using me to love and to contribute for this team.

Today, I found the confidence of my teammates in me, which had been there all along, but I couldn't see till today.

Today, is the day that The Lord has made. All honour and glory shall go to Him! Thank you Lord. I pray to shine for You in my team!!!!

Good Morning Devotion!

Men Operate In Different Ways.

Hello!

Men are really difficult to read!

That said, I admit I'm stereotyping the above. I have very little experience.

Nevermind, by God's grace I will try and understand the mind of men... and be patient.

Lord, I praise You for who You Are!

Carry On.

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone,
Carry on-on-oh-oh-on