Numb Fingers and Rested Heart

 

I am now in the midst of trying to master this song.

It's not hard, but not easy either. Last year, I started learning via a youtube video, but didn't have the perseverance to finish learning. But on Friday, after having to lead Praise & Worship during cell, and having all that stirring in the heart, I touched my guitar again.

Now, my fingers are feeling the pain, even as I'm typing. Haha.

But I will master it. By God's grace, I will. 

So, Friday, for Praise and Worship I selected one upbeat song, and 2 very beautiful slow tunes. And because I didn't have much time to prepare for it, I just surrendered to the Holy Spirit. Praise the Lord, because there was more confidence, and somehow, words rolled out of my tongue and there was no awkward pause (not for too long, at least).

And I didn't go out of tune. Haha. Important. Thank you Lord, for using me!

3 Weddings, No Funeral Please.

3 weddings for 3 consecutive weekends is no joke, to both the bones and the wallet.

Finally, no more for this weekend! Thankfully, unlike the movie "4 Weddings and a Funeral", there is no funeral and no extra wedding. There is, however, production this Saturday!

Sigh. Pray for strength.

Not Just For Your Goodness, But For You.

I think I led the last 3 years of my Christian walk yearning for God's goodness. I praised Him when He was good, and when the going got tough, I hinged on His promises and I pursued His treasures, well, the tangible ones at least.

For the past few weeks, in a serendipitous manner, He revealed to me what He wanted from me. I discovered this while 1) Chatting over New Year's Eve, 2) Reading the book Joyce gave called "Drawing Near".

Reverence, for Him, not His works in my life.

Fear of Him, as in respecting His authority as a king, rather than being afraid because you sin.

Change, which He will do in my life, my heart, my attitude.

Wow. This whole idea of experiencing Him, rather than focus on what He has done, is actually new to me. I guess as I kept singing the song, Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord, He really did.

For a while, after church camp, I thought, how come people are touched by the Spirit only in camp, but not in everyday living? How can I be touched every single living day? I don't want to be filled only in camp- that's only about 4 times of the year if I go for all camps, yes, even Children's Camp. I don't want to be holy only on Sunday. In my little warped mind, that's akin to going to hell for 6 days and heaven for 1.

So, for the past few weeks, I've been trying to comprehend and grasp the concept of how to Experience God. It's a little daunting of course. If you see His face, you'll die. His glory is too much for any soul to bear! But I do, I do want to draw near, to go closer. I asked a friend, so... do I get to see Him? A little light perhaps? A physical manifestation?

He replied, nope. The way we look at things are from logical, human ways. God is not meant to be experienced in that way. You know you are experiencing God when your heart is molded, changed, you know you are experiencing God when you know something that is beyond you, which can only come from Him. His perfection may feel far for us mere mortals, but look, He's here, right beside us, walking beside us in that narrow path that leads to His perfection.

I found so much comfort, so much love in that above conversation. And so, Lord, here I am, to pursue You, to chase after You and Your ways. Not just because You bless O Lord, but because You are the King.

Hit The Ground Running.

I'm exhausted after 3 days of 2013.

Shows that I'm old huh?

I'm in between 3 weddings, and a choke-full of deadlines. Did I mention there's a shoot tomorrow?

Yeap. Things are looking quite bad.

But I refuse to lament further. By faith, I will conquer all! It's war time!!!

Thanksgiving

 Tis' the season to give thanks unto the Lord.

1. For a job that constantly challenges me and makes me aware that I am weak but He is strong, and I can do everything in Him who gives me strength. I now know how crazy it is to be beside a director.

2. For a heart to serve even though I am quite lousy at teaching/ facilitating... a lot of awkward silence and I needed to ask the Holy Spirit to help out, which I guess is the right thing to do anyway so amen! :)

3. For Cambodia, for Pastor Thong Kong, for his family, for the team, for the kids, for little "Deanna" and her "Pang Sai Kia" brother and for God's presence in Siem Reap and the villages.

4. For my family. Everything. And to know that He is in control. And also my pretty new house in Lakeside.

5. For Team Jumpshot and my coach. Everyone.

6. For the church He put me in and the mentors and friends I gained.

7. For never letting me go too far away from Him.

8. For the friendships. Some were new, some were lost, some needs to be reconciled (and I promise to do that once I find the time!), but the love in friendships is very enjoyable.

9. For a heart that is learning to be still and trust the Lord, and every time this patience seems to be tested, there is always a surpise.

10. For giving me courage to do many new things.

11. For protecting my heart, but teaching me how to love at the same time.

12. For His son Jesus Christ.

13. For the pandas in Singapore Zoo.

Psalm 4

Anxious heart, uneasy spirit today.

But the Word of God soothes. "In peace, I will lie down and sleep, for you alone Lord, make me dwell in safety."

Off to Bangkok tomorrow!

Larva

Happy blessed birthday to me. Was a truly enjoyable, albeit a wet one.

Thank you so much Lord! It's p
Fandastic!