I panted, my knees weren't lifting high enough. The destination was still far, and my legs were about to give way. The voice in my earphones started speaking, "Fifteen minutes, two kilometres." In the back of my mind was the thought, oh my, how the mighty has fallen. Fifteen minutes for a measly two kilometres? Just eight years ago, I did 2.4 kilometres in 12 minutes.
Well, maybe eight years is really that far away.
And as I continued, I wanted to stop very badly. That's the time where my focus starting going berserk, just darting between things that I never noticed before. My whole body, and how heavy it weighed. The phone in my hand, how it was suddenly a hindrance, and my earphones cables tugging my ears the wrong way. Everything was resistance.
But there's something so strangely exciting about this premise. Pounding heart, air gushing in and out my nose, muscles working in unison, and as I looked straight ahead, there was a voice that came. The voice was inside my head of course.
"Keep looking at me, keep going, don't give up, don't stop. Keep constant communion. Keep your focus. Constant communion with me. Constant communion."
Yes, okay... God, are you here?
"You see this road, it's tough right, nobody's around with you, and every step is harder, but if you stop, you're not getting nearer to the destination. And isn't it what you're facing, the rejections, the resistance from some of the people?"
Exactly what I had discussed this afternoon during my core group meeting with Sharlene and Angela.
"It's hard right? Giving up, it's so much easier isn't it?"
Yes, yes it is, when things look bleak. When there seems to be so much to be done, Lord.
"But you see, these are my people."
Yes, Lord, these are your people.
"Don't let go of them. I will give you strength. I. Will. Give. You. Strength."
At this point, I was running towards a traffic light.
"Okay Lord. Constant communion, right?"
And I was nearly at the light, which was red. Just a few steps from the light, it turned green, and I picked up speed to run across the light. By now, I was feeling hungry. I hadn't eaten any dinner before I went out to run because I had a heavy lunch.
"Use My strength when you don't have any left."
Okay, Lord. I ran a little faster.
"Don't give up, keep your eyes on Me."
I was still tired, panting, hungry, but I kept running.
At the last kilometre, the fuel was running on empty. I was jogging behind a pedestrian who was taking his own sweet time. The voice in the earphones started again. "25 minutes, pace 8.1 kilometres per hour." I had dwindled from 8.6 kilometres per hour to 8.1. 8.1!!!!
Oh my, how the mighty has fallen.
And as I looked ahead, finally separated from the pedestrian who could give a sloth a run for its money, it was a straight jogging path along the canal. And right at the end of the path, was the end point.
If I run faster, I can improve my timing, that's the thought going through my mind.
Why is it getting harder to run faster? But I am running faster, even though it's harder. Faster, faster.
Oh right, use His strength!
I looked right ahead, and I ran. I ran. I panted. I ran. I made each step wider. It was starting to be a sprint.
"Use My strength."
Okay. I'm using, I'm using. Nearly there, nearly there.
And just around 15 steps from the end goal, my sprint transformed into, well, a fast jog. Then a slow jog. Then, I touched the barrier and reached the end line.
I have reached my destination. I hadn't stopped at all. And even though the timing was, well, a disgrace actually, haha, but it was a sobering "what-do-you-expect-you-haven't-had-any-exercise-in-the-past-two-weeks!" reminder that I wouldn't have been able to make it, if not for that voice.
To make matters worse, I went to a bench and my stomach cramped up after 30 sit ups.
30!!!
Finally, I sat and rested. The passage on my bible app was on 2 Cor 11:22 to 30.
22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I. 23 Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. 24 From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness—28 besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. 29 Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burnwith indignation?
30 If I must boast, I will boast in the things which concern my infirmity. 31 The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying. How do I even dare to give up when Paul has been through all of the above? The point though is, that a constant communion, or a continual fellowship with Christ will just lead us to be better than our circumstances.
Look at Paul. Look at myself. WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES?
