I probably am finally coming to terms that we're on stranger tides. 2 years and loads of thinking does a lot, grew a lot, but still, am still addressing you as you because there is a small hope that you do peek in here once in a while to stalk, like I try to stalk too, in a non scary/ threatening way, because there's no way to stalk you at all, anymore, except for the very occasional mention.
And of course, I can feel wheels moving, moving on, moving further, until it really fades into oblivion. Part of me wants it to be like that, like it doesn't exist, and frankly it feels that way because it's been so long, but a whole bigger part of me says, nope, I cannot let it fade. I hold on, hold on to the lessons, the love, the way we were, the way I was mean and horrid, the way I ran you down into a million pieces. This is important. Very important. It shaped me, it molded me, a tad too late, perhaps for you, but I pray so hard that it'll not happen again in the next one, if there is a next one, when there is a next one.
There are times where things get broken and they are unfixable. I think this is one of those things. Well, I think you think that this is one of those things. And I think so too. I've probably gone and done the worst thing by associating you with me, again. Because there is no association, not in real life anyway, not in this time. Not anymore. And of course, while I hope you'd peek, I think really, I'm just talking to myself.
I hope you've found your next one already. I'm going to try to find mine too.
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