Recently, it's been a trend among my friends to look for me and ask if I can do some videos for them. They come from different denominations, but somehow, their deadlines converges. I wonder if there is a conspiracy there.
Don't matter. Anyway, every time people ask me to do videos, it's always been a struggle for me to determine a price for it. Or worse, to even put a price on it is so hard to do. I mean, for close friends I don't mind. And for church, it's a small service in comparison. But the disturbing ones are the ones whom you've never met, who are friends of friends.
I've just spent the last 3 nights doing up a video for this couple, one of whom is the sister of my teammate. While going through their photos and requirements, I am thinking of how much effort to put in. Well, I would very much like to, if I'm that way, declare that I should do my very best, even though no price was negotiated, and very likely, the amount that I'm working for is $0. I very much would like to say I would still put in 100% for $0. For people I don't even know.
But I should not kid myself.
I have always overlooked the way blessings and karma work. And obviously, as a Christian, one does not need karma at all. One will get what one does not deserve usually, in a good way. That's grace. But one should not stop the good because one knows one has been given grace. One should continue because the goodness comes from God, and not from one's own initiative.
Anyway, I told Sam, my other teammate about it, and she said, "Huh? If you don't even know if you're not getting paid, do for what?"
"So that I can amass enough karma and get to meet and marry the man of my dreams one day." I said, to rapturous laughter from her.
And at that point, I laughed so hard too, at my own silliness.
Well, now that it's been said, the 1st cut of the video has been done too. As much as I would like to say I've done a good job, I don't think I really did, and what bothers me is that it doesn't bother me at all.
That's also because I think even if you stick a knife to me and asked me to open my mouth to ask for a price, I won't do it. I won't dare, and that's the thing that's going to make me penniless for the rest of my life.
Going into an opposite direction, another friend who asked me to do just about the same thing (it's actually a photo montage- simple yes, but still need a bit of cutting and effects here and there) told me to quote her a price.
"Er... er..." was the answer I gave.
"$200? $150?" She asked.
"No need so much la. Very simple to do." I said, half struggling with my pride which says I should be worth more.
"$70? $80?"
"Ya! $70 is fine. $70 is good." Shut up now, Deanna. Shut up, won't you?
"Seems a bit low, no?"
"Nah, it sounds simple. $70 is okay." I answered, and it was a deal.
Alas, in conclusion, my sideline is no more of an extra meal than a complement to the salary. The more I do this, the more I also get to know of myself. So Deanna is a person who tries to be good, pretends to be okay, but is secretly grousing. Then again, I foil my own intentions when I get the opportunity to ask for what I want with my conscience.
Gasp! This must mean one thing. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!
And thus, the man theory about women is true.
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