For the third time, I was in Cambodia. This was my third mission trip, and I would say my most trying one to date. What do I mean by trying? I guess it's a mixture of good things and bad things that constantly challenged me throughout the trip.
First, I was slightly more disturbed at the state of the land than I was in previous years. How do they live like that? I didn't like the huge lavish hotels with the fresh coat of paint that stood side by side with the smaller, grey buildings that faded into the background. I didn't like the dusty streets and the endless piles of sand and bricks lying along the road. I didn't like the houses in the villages- they were dark, dusty, and smelt bad. When it rained, the whole area was muddy, swampy, and wet. To walk from one place to another meant having to navigate precariously from one spot to the next, just to avoid the soft sand and mud.
Then again, whatever that's there now, was already there previously. I was somewhat blind to that fact that they live in such conditions. This year, however, the veil was opened, and it affected me.
Second, I succumbed to illness. Twice. For two days, I fell ill, recovered, fell ill again, vomited, diarrhea-ed, and then recovered. Once proud of the fact that I was one of the only two girls who didn't fall ill last year, my "iron" stomach was put to shame this year. I experienced body aches, headaches, food poisoning and the frequent visits to the toilet. The stomach experienced waves of intense pain, lasting from the afternoon to evening, putting me in a truly uncomfortable state.
And third, the boy who never failed to make my day in the last trip, Kakada, was becoming somewhat irritating. Hahaha. It's not his fault. He was like that during our last trip too, a defiant attention seeker who could never sit still. Ben Huang pointed out that he felt very sad for Kakada, because he probably had ADHD, and will face many obstacles when learning. So this time, I learnt to say no. No Kakada, you sit down. No Kakada, do not run to the front and disrupt the lesson. No Kakada, don't jump up and down. Saying no was something I didn't do the last trip.
I never realised how far I was from my comfort zone during this trip. Somehow, between the first and second trip, I had adapted, made do, worked within them, but this time, this time something was up. Had I become more prissy? More pampered? More primma donna this time? What was up?
In hindsight, I developed a bigger burden for the country and the church than my last two trips. And also, in greater awe of my God, who is working in this land. Despite everything, the church workers always carried smiles on their faces. One of the local pastors, Pastor Pheng, shared with us that he chose to marry a Christian woman, instead of the girl he liked who is non-christian, so that he can have a Christian wedding and marriage. That fervor and thirst for God in them is so much more.
And because of my bout of fever and food poisoning, the focus shifted from "Me" to "God". We are not invincible. Or rather, I am not invincible. When the body fails, I become equally weak as my compatriots when they are sick. But how good is God? With rest, I managed to recover the very next day. And when I was down again, I recovered the very next day again. Two fevers in two days, and yet, the body didn't crumble. God is good. All the time.
It is easy to go through the motions of a mission trip, especially when one has gone through it twice already. The schedule was almost similar, and the things we do didn't differ much. Half the people who came for this were with me for the previous trip, so it did feel like a continuation. It is easy to go on, turning the gears, having a rhythm, just like how we get through our daily jobs. It is easy.
But if it was the case, then the meaning of the mission would be lost. I thank God that I didn't have it easy at all. That even though I could, He didn't let me. Everyday, morning devotion was a refreshing time of worship. It was different and it was good. So many times during this trip, I got lost in His presence. And things that we saw, broke our hearts for they are things that broke God's heart as well. Testimonies fitted well with the praise and worship songs, God's presence overwhelmed the place.
When I closed my eyes to pray for a Cambodian sister, I saw a bright light, shining through the land. It dispersed into a million fireflies, and they all flew in different directions.
It is beautiful.
