Love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.

The Camp.

 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
- Jeremiah 29:13

This is a new year.

Guys, it is 2015.

I have lost some memories of this blog, having not posted for 2 whole months. Typing on a phone is not at all satisfying- it does not produce the tiak tiak tiak sounds of a keyboard that soothes the writer.

Most start-of-the-year posts usually start with reflections. And I tried to do one, but I gave up because no tiak tiak on the iPad. 

Yesterday night I revisited the years spent on this blog. It seemed like a long journey of a person who grew up. Haha, I admit, I'm getting older. Less funny perhaps, more likely to eat lunch alone and be totally okay. 

2015 has 2 keywords for me. Self control, and people. What matters most in life? The money, a comfortable life, a great job, fame? Well, no. 

It's the people that matters.

This is quite a powerful revelation, one that scares me a bit. I hope that at the end of 2015, I can understand this and do this well.

This world. It's about the people.

Obsession

Reading from CS Lewis's books, one observation that he brought across, and halted me in my tracks, is the observation of the artist. The artist loves drawing God's creation - the clouds, the grass, nature. His first love was God and His handiwork, then he begins to fuss over his drawings, which paints should he use, what strokes, what materials? 

When he gets to purgatory, he sees a glimpse of heaven, and he is eager to draw the beauty surrounding him. But there are no paints in this particular place. He meets with a Spirit to lament over this fact that he cannot draw out the beauty of the place. The Spirit replies, "you're supposed to look at the place, observe it, take it in, but not draw it. The beauty of it is right in front of your eyes! The paintings and drawings you do on Earth are copies of the real creation, they do not display the Creator's glorious work. "

"Yes I understand the beauty of it. Therefore, I must draw it!"

"Well, if you're interested in the view only for the sake of drawing it, you'll never learn anything about it!"

That quite stumped me.

How many times have I been guilty of wanting to be a Christian but not truly understanding who is Christ? Leading worship and bible study because I'm "good enough"? Making videos for church and getting praised for my skills? Priding myself on always being in church despite having a busy schedule?

Pretty sure, at least 10 times throughout my 5 years of Christian walk, and I'm being modest here. I believe if you add another digit, that'll be closer to the actual number.

Let me now offer a sordid reminder to myself- Christ should be the reason for all. I think, by this reason alone, I am now broken into a million pieces.

Ok.. Calm down. 

Hello God. 

Thumbs Up

Started randomly drawing, and then, poof. I guess this opens up an alternate occupation!

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, my dearest sister. Wherever you are. 

It's been so long, and the family misses you. But more so, me. Because after all, you're my best friend in this family. 

Happy birthday. I pray that God watches over you, over the little one, over your family. And we hope, sincerely, that one day you can come back to say hello to us.

The door's wide open. And love, love always triumphs. 

I miss you k. 

Guitar.

I haven't touched my guitar in the longest time, that the callouses that I built up a while ago were gone. But all of a sudden, I picked up my guitar on Monday, and I've not stopped practicing ever since. 

That's six whole consecutive days now :)

And the motivation I got, was the simplest of words - worship.

I want to be able to play, so that I can sing to God. And well, now that I'm old enough I shall admit this- I think I can write songs. Poems, in fact, because I do not yet possess the musical sense to carry a melody. But I can hold a rhyme, hopefully to the beat of time, and let it float, so we can all soak, in the presence of our God, and stand in awe, as we are reminded by these songs that we write, whose true author is the Spirit that resides.

See my point? It's more like a rap now though, and I don't think anyone wants to hear a 27 year old woman who still struggles to clap to the beat of music mind you, rapping.

I hope this momentum can sustain me

So I can worship The Lord through the melody of music

And enter his presence with a decent song

To praise and worship, all the day long

Oh how awesome it is to sing

Of His great love, by which we are redeemed

And to sing of Jesus who died on the cross

A sacrifice for those who are lost

My fingers now hurt from playing G,C,E and D

But no, they won't stop me from praising Thee!

I love you, God.